So Much For American Idol

That was like going to a four star restaurant and getting plain old white bread. That's what Kris Allen is.

LOL. What a downer. Remember some of the American Idol finales of old, confetti sprayed everywhere, bright lights, the place going bonkers? Kris Allen wins and it's like a thud in there. Even the winner was like, I won? Me? How can this be?

Adam Lambert was definitely classy looking in losing. But I believe he will be the ultimate winner of this season, much like Chris Daughtry was a few seasons ago.

Why America would want Kris ... There's some terrible reasons possible.

Elvis Presley - Guy Lambert - Adam Lambert

I was thinking Elvis' character in one of his movies was a Lambert, and it turns out that is right. In Double Trouble he was Guy Lambert. The illustration is from an Elvis Presley records and memorabilia guide (by Jerry Osborne), page 51.

I actually have the movie Double Trouble on DVD and could watch it again, but I don't think I will. The illustration's good enough. It's a pretty good movie though. Elvis is in Europe. It has something to do with secret agents and spies. And he leads a swinging rock band, at least they back him up. As the illustration indicates they're called "George and His G-Men." George is played by Monte Landis, an actor who later shows up in numerous episodes of The Monkees.

The point I'm making today -- and I do not think it is at all far-fetched -- is that Elvis playing a character named Guy Lambert was his way of endorsing Adam Lambert as the next American Idol. There's no other contestant who reminds us as much as Elvis. We could run down the list if you wanted. It's a small list at this point. Adam is the only one who fits the bill. And he's definitely the only Lambert.

Adam Lambert Disqualified

Adam Lambert simply can't win American Idol.

He can't be human and that has to be against the rules. The man has to be a machine of some sort, or at least the embodiment of about six really good singers. Or an alien. Or programmed by some higher intelligence to get us listening, then to enslave us somehow.

He is so absolutely great that there has to be some kind of shenanigans going on here. No one can be that good.

It's not going to be good for American Idol either. Because they'll never find another one like him, not unless the aliens or machinists intercede again, for whatever nefarious purposes they may have.

If I keep looking at him, there's going to be a major reversal. I won't be saying he looks like Elvis, but Elvis looks like Adam Lambert.

Adam! Adam! Adam!

On American Idol, it's gotten to the point where it either needs to be Adam or no one. Seriously, the guy is so good, if he doesn't win I'll never watch the show again. What's the use?

I had to catch it on tape again last night -- too many meetings in my life. The upside of this is that I miss all the commercials and can speed through the other performances when they hit their boring stride. So as it turned out I didn't see any complete performance by any of the contestants except for Adam. I might have seen 90% of Allison's or maybe I saw the whole thing.

I like Allison even though I'm not hoping for an Allison win. If she came in second, that'd be great.

The others, though, whoa, what a load of rubbish. What boring song choices, what an old fogey vibe coming from each and every one of them. They'd put people in the nursing home to sleep, it's that bad. I can't sit and watch these pathetic performances.

At this point it's got to be Adam! All the way, him or no one!

American Idol -- Late Edition

When in doubt, write about American Idol. It's the oldest standby in the world for someone with a slowing metabolism and slowing thoughts.

Although I should be thinking clearly and with good rapidity, having just worked out. My collar's sweaty; that ought to prove something. I was on on the treadmill for 1.17 miles, which feels pretty far. I put it on 15 minutes plus 3 minutes cool down each time and it always goes about that far. 4.1 mph. I was having a good time. Then I did some weights. I neglected the weights for a while and my arms feel sore now that I've been hitting them again. I guess I got back to it just in time. Then a few ab crunches and I hit the road for home.

Anyway, American Idol. I missed it last night -- I have some appointments I have to keep and it seems like they fall on Tuesday nights. But I watched it today on tape.

Some of the Am Id's aren't working hard enough. I'm looking right at you, Lil Rounds. Then you have those who are musically gifted but lack spark and star quality. I'm very bold to say that, seeing that I personally lack musical talent and spark and star quality. But I know it when I see it! And I'm not seeing it in you, Scott McIntyre. (That's his name, right?) Some of them I forget quickly, but today I was just thinking of the old name of Chickeasy. I wonder how he is.

Danny Gokey is doing a good job. But I am bored out of my mind at him personally. I just don't see any excitement there. Matt Giraud is pretty good. Kris Allen, eh. Allison, I like. She's second best. I'm forgetting someone, and it's not Adam. Someone else. Lil, Scott, Danny, Matt, Kris, Allison ... one other person ... then Adam Lambert. Adam Lambert is a killer contestant. He's the absolute best.

I don't see American Idol ever having another as exciting as Adam ever again. This is the season and they'll search high and low without ever finding anyone like him again. They've found the best. Now what?

Hey, I wish they'd quit saying the performances are available for downloading at iTunes. I go there and they're not available for a couple days. You can "pre-order" only. What's that all about?

I'm sure there was another contestant. Who?

American Idol's New Rule

They had the "new rule" announced last night on American Idol. It is that the judges in the course of the season can "save" a person who receives the lowest number of votes that week if they feel he or she should have another shot. Then the next week they would say goodbye to two. And there would be no more saves the next week because the save can only be once in the season, anytime before the final five.

The weird thing is they showed Chris Daughtry and hinted that it would "save" someone like him who perhaps should have gone further in the competition. But he was in the final 4, so in his case it wouldn't have saved him.

Even if it would have saved him, he still might not have won. We all know Chris Daughtry is the greatest thing in the world (basically) now, but not everyone thought that at the time. Or he would've kept going on the show. I remember some criticism of him at the time as sounding the same every week, like he had one style and that was it. Personally I liked him, but I liked Taylor Hicks better.

The ones who were there were Taylor, Katharine McPhee, Elliott Yamin, and Chris. Taylor definitely had fan votes coming in from somewhere, since he was never in the bottom three ... until, of course, there were only three left. Elliott had some good things going on and has done pretty well since, better than I thought he would. Taylor's audience doesn't seem to be a big CD buying group, or downloaders. I've got his new one ordered. It must not be popular enough to be at the store because they didn't have it yesterday. Katharine came in second. As for my taste, she would have gone home in Chris' place, then Elliott, then have the final between Chris and Taylor.

I think it's a good rule to have, the new one. But you knew, since they can only do it once, they weren't going to waste it on Jorge or Jasmine. At this point things have to shake out and you can barely say they didn't have a good shot to show the goods. Only if it had been unbelievable, like Adam Lambert with the lowest number of votes. That would have been a disaster. They would've used it then.

Exciting stuff, huh? Better than politics really. It's superficial enough you can keep track of all the angles and you're not dealing with quite as many dishonest people. I hope.

First Ones Voted Off

I wasn't unhappy with American Idol's results tonight. Everyone has to fall except one, so it's good to start with the bad ones. Or mediocre.

People have big dreams but not everyone's going to make it to the top. I should know. I've labored fruitlessly for years trying to realize my dream. It's been so long I forgot what it was. There was the dream I had when I was five of someday being a fireman. Never happened. But I'm sure that's not the dream I had in mind. Well, maybe it'll come to me.

So tonight we had Jasmine Murray going home first. I guess I didn't know her last night. I must have heard it at some point but when I heard it tonight it wasn't familiar. I thought she was very cute from the start. But... the performances seemed lackluster. Not terrible though.

The other one going home was Jorge Nunez, which has to make all of Puerto Rico mad. He was definitely a guy to be proud of, like Jasmine. A good guy, full of heart. He did a Michael Jackson song, "Never Can Say Goodbye," that was, again, not great. It didn't sound much better tonight. It wasn't jazzed up in any way. So I'm not sorry to see him go.

They have a new rule, that one time in the season the judges can "save" someone who was voted out. They didn't take advantage of the rule tonight, which was to be expected. At this point, just let things shake out as they must.

Kelly Clarkson did a hot version of her new record, "My Life Would Suck Without You." I just got her new CD today. Haven't had time to listen to it, and now that it's bedtime, I'll have to put off that pleasure till some other time.

I'm pulling for Adam Lambert all the way. He's the one!

American Idol 1969

I see tonight's episode of American Idol is at 8:00 p.m., and I thought it was a new one, but, no, this is a rerun from Dec. 31, 1969. I think I remember that one. Wasn't Jim Morrison the vocal coach that night?

(Graphic from today's TV listings at Yahoo.)

American Idol -- Louisville

Last night they had American Idol at San Francisco. I watched it on tape because I had something else to do at the time. I was a little preoccupied due to personal issues at the time, so it seemed like the show was interminable, even skipping commercials. They had the usual range of worthless dogs howling all the way up to potential superstars.

Tonight I was feeling quite a bit better, so I sat and watched the Louisville auditions and enjoyed myself. Again, some real crazies out there, thinking they can sing. (I know how that goes though, because I used to be between the ages of 18 and 25, and you think you're the center of the world and can do no wrong. Don't worry, you age and then realize you yourself are one of those worthless dogs howling.)

One guy was a math whiz or something, called a super nerd. They promoed him as drinking out of Paula's glass as a shocking thing. But in the context we clearly heard her tell him to get a drink. Whether that meant her glass, probably not, but she could have pulled it back and said, I don't mean my glass. She didn't. He went for it. Big deal. His singing was bad.

They had a hardluck story at the end. And she of course turned out to be really good and made it through. That was touching, aww. The young guy who came in whooping it up and shouting. He was a total moron, because he actually had talent and sounded great. And he would have likely made it through if he would have piped it down a bit and sang a song in the normal way. Or maybe he'd rather not make it and still be able to say he did his own thing.

Some of the ones, like the enormous guy, were just there for comedic effect and had no chance. But you have to know, don't you? No, you don't know. See what I said above about being between 18 and 25, thereabouts. You really do not know.

American Idol Tonight

OK, I'm watching American Idol this season.

But I got an emergency call from an acquaintance before the last half hour, so I had to go help get her out of jail. (I don't associate with criminals, really I don't. But when you know people, there's no telling what they might do.) So I missed the last 25 minutes or so.

The parts I saw were good, in the usual audition sense of things. There were some good singers and some out and out disasters. Nobody looked really great. But you figure they're out in the hot, they're sitting in a stadium or a holding room all day, they're not dressed nicely, whatever.

Some of the ones who are out and out freaky you can spot a mile away. But they put them on anyway. A certain amount of that's good ... entertaining ... but of course it can be a disaster for them. Because they think they're really good. I remember being that age, though, and you really do think you're something special. Because you haven't exactly seen the world, you don't realize how big it all is, you've been sheltered, and people tell you you're great.

It would help some of these characters if they had honest friends. Or if they sought out a few honest strangers to ask them, Am I Really Any Good? I was amazed at the guy who said he was classically trained, that he was an opera singer. Then he comes out and it's a disaster.

Taylor Hicks Last Night

I have big sympathy for Taylor Hicks. I think he's been mistreated on American Idol, and they clearly don't like him very much.

I had a hard time warming up to him entirely when he was on the show last year. I heard a few people saying he was like Elvis, which I could never see. So right up to the last week or so I still had my doubts. A lot of his moves and enthusiasm didn't seem genuine to me, certainly not in the Elvis league. But since then I've enjoyed his album, gotten his other albums, gone to his concert when he was in the area, basically been as enthusiastic as I could. Yet there's always this kind of sympathy in being any kind of fan. I listen to the album and wonder 'was this right? should they have done this differently?' Etc. And as far as album promotion I think they screwed him over. For example, I never heard his song on the radio, in a grocery store, in a car, anyplace, not one single time. It's like he never existed. Up to a few months ago, he hadn't been on XM radio -- I've since quit checking -- except going way back to that dreck 'Do I Make You Proud.' I'm writing in, I'm voting him up at yes.com, etc., at that time.

Anyway, there's some personal interaction there. So I'm in full sympathy mode when I know he has to be on American Idol last night. And what happens? He doesn't get an introduction, he comes out to a bare stage, like a man with nothing. No set-up, no cool guitar around, no drummer, no band, just a guy and a microphone, essentially naked to the world, looking not that great either. Every little performance wart magnified. I thought "Heaven Knows" had a lot of energy, but since half the show is the way things are presented, it was not a fitting performance. I'm thinking somebody at American Idol hates this guy.

Then we have that insufferable Clive Davis' crappy spiel every year about how many CDs they've all sold. It's one thing to have an orgasm over Daughtry's CD, but he really doesn't have to peck at Taylor like he did. That was mean.

Then we get the Beatles' medley. And Kelly has a great set-up, can really blow the opening in a great way. And Taylor gets the morose, good in its context, bad on a show like this "A Day In The Life." About blowing his brain, mind out in a car. The lyrics were goofed up. It's kind of low, it's morose, it's the wrong song for him, etc., etc. Full fan sympathy mode here. They didn't do anything with him that suggested respect. Even Sanjaya had the extra energy of Steve Perry to perk up his performance.

American Idol Tonight

Stephanie got voted off. I thought she was great. Not great last night, but all the times before. And about perfect looking. She wasn't shown in the auditions or performing at Hollywood week, that I remember seeing, yet ended up in the top 24, then the top 11. I was real impressed with her, so I'm sad to see her go.

It's even sadder considering some of the crumb bums who are left.

The episode last night was mostly boring. I wasn't into it at all. I'm not big on Shirley Bassey songs. When you say "British Invasion" you're not talking about singers who did James Bond theme songs, except Paul McCartney much later. "British Invasion" doesn't mean "Tell Him," which was by an American group. Just because it was covered by someone from England, no, no good. Then we had LaKisha doing some big cabaret thing, Stephanie something like that, Jordin doing one of the world's most awful songs, "I Who Have Nothing." Yikkus.

It was pretty obvious whose songs were considered edgy enough to sound contemporary today, the Zombies, Kinks, Stones. Not Hermans Hermits even though Peter Blair Denis Bernard Noone was on the show. Sanjaya considered doing "I'm Into Something Good," and if Sanjaya avoids your song, you know it's passe. So he goes with "You Really Got Me." He had a lot of great moves all over the place and really put a lot into it. But still, we know he's no good, so it wasn't a joy to behold. And seeing the little girl cry got to be too much. Someone did "Time of the Season" (Blake), and "She's Not There" (Chris S.) And Gina, was it? did "Paint It Black." She's not convincing as a rocker girl.

OK, all that, that brings us to tonight. Peter Noone did his song, "There's A Kind of Hush." I actually like Hermans Hermits records, but passe is a word that definitely comes to mind. It really seemed odd and like from another galaxy. Lulu did "To Sir With Love," which is a pretty good song, and she belted it out. It was nice to see them on the stage for another moment in the limelight, but, in Peter Noone's case especially, I don't know that it'll win him many new fans. Which probably isn't the point. He was the cutest guy in the '60s. Even though Peter Frampton was the "Face of 1968," I don't think many people remember that, Peter Noone was the face of the rest of the decade. Cute, like Paul McCartney but more so. (Oh, I forgot Davy Jones.) Now that he's old, like all of us, he reminded me of the Crocodile Hunter. Super cute people never look that great when they age. There are probably exceptions, so don't hold me to that.

Getting to the final two was a quick process. Three up, safe. Three more, safe. Three more, safe, too. That leaves Chris Richardson and Stephanie. A bunch of other things to get to, then at the end, Stephanie out. Sad. They didn't have her sing at the end.

Chris Sligh - There was an article, I think at the Washington Post today, about someone at his old college, Bob Jones University, worrying that he, as a Christian singer, is doing secular music. That's worth looking for.