Monday, August 30, 2010

Happy Shackleton Rescue Day

I've been reading the book by Sir Ernest Shackleton, "South," about his expedition to Antarctica back in 1914 and the rescue of his men in 1916. There's a lot of details.

The thing to mention today is that the famous rescue was made on August 30, today!

One of the men wrote, "We intend to keep August 30th as a festival for the rest of our lives."

Since they've all passed on by now, happy festival day as the rest of us celebrate it!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Sri Tamasananda

I follow the teachings of Sri Tamasananda, a very holy man.

He teaches me that to have self-realization and find enlightenment, I should eat as much pork products as I can. Not when I'm not hungry or anything. But when I have the opportunity and desire, eat bacon, bratwurst, pork chops, side pork, ham, etc. And eat my fill.

It makes a lot of sense to me and I feel like I'm practically there already. I think I am. Today I had four slices of bacon for breakfast and a couple fried brats for dinner.

There's just something about the pig to take away your ascetic blues. Forgoing pork might be some people's path, but to Sri Tamasananda and me, it's the other path.

My Flagship Blog

Technically, this is my flagship blog. It's the one that coincides with my name. I believe it came first.

But in the order of priority -- as things are working out recently -- it's taking a back seat to Grandma Slump.

This is an idea I had six months ago, which one should I consider my flagship blog. Isn't that really something to think about? I'm just that way, always thinking that something out of multiple choices needs to be the flagship whatever.

Which of the three ships Columbus had was his flagship?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Alan Simpson's Tits

One time I was about 10 inches from Alan Simpson. I believe it must have been 1988, Des Moines, at a Republican presidential debate. He was there, apparently not in the debate but in attendance.

I was standing outside waiting to get in and he was right there by me. I saw him 360 degrees, or most of the 360. Certainly I saw that it was him, up close. Then, and this is what I want to get to, I saw him from behind.

When I saw him from behind I saw something that I've never forgotten. It's etched in my memory. I saw he had reddish hair and that it was very loose. Even though it was neatly combed, it was cut straight across at the bottom by his neck. And when he talked or laughed it jiggled back and forth very vigorously.

That's what I think of whenever I hear about Alan Simpson.

Now he's in the news again, saying Social Security is like a cow with 310 million tits. There was a reporter on TV, MSNBC, and of course they're reluctant to say tits on TV. She was saying he was talking about "a female body part," and that when you refer to cows it has to be "teats."

Yeah? Well, that's crap. Because language doesn't have that kind of rules. I've heard cow's udders called tits a million and one times. That's the way language works, based on how people actually talk. And Simpson had it exactly right. He wasn't referring to a female body part (in the sense of women), but a cow's milk spiggots, which, yes, are called teats, tits, udders, and there's probably other words for it.

It sounds almost Hindu, a cow with 310 million tits. Way to go, Alan!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The United States of Idiots

I keep seeing the headlines: "Growing Numbers of Americans Think Obama is a Muslim."

He clearly isn't. So why are people so idiotic as to believe a lie when it's been shot down conclusively? I fear for our country. Rationality and facts are a better basis for life than lying.

Such idiots.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Worst Baggage Ever

If you didn't see it, you missed a heck of a "Baggage" last night!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Harry Reid -- The Weasel

Harry Reid, well known for missing a spine, caved once again, this time on the mosque issue (that shouldn't really be an issue.)

He thinks it should be "someplace else." You know what? Harry Reid is a weasel.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Freedom Press

I'm surprised that our nation appears to have let the French off the hook. Remember, these are the freedom-hating guys who would've kept us out of Iraq if they'd've had their way!

I know I personally haven't forgotten their perfidy -- I hope that's the right word.

Now I hear they're trying to build an Eiffel Tower somewhere close to Ground Zero. And it's well known that drunks have been getting cheap French wine somewhere in the area too. Which is disgusting.

Let's keep them out!

I haven't given up the fight, I don't know about the rest of you. I still eat Freedom fries. And I even make my morning coffee in a Freedom press coffee pot. And, seriously, that's the way it's going to be until they apologize about Iraq!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Obama Sticks Up For The Muslims

It's about time. It drives me crazy to see the crazies take the field against people.

The Republican Tea Party wackos are trying their best to make a royal mess in our country. They're so idiotic. One, they praise the Constitution to high heaven. But two, they don't "get it" that the First Amendment also applies to others, such as Muslims. Good grief, things that are obvious ... they don't get.

I read today that President Obama finally stuck up for the Muslims on all this anti-mosque idiocy that's been the emphasis of the Republican Tea Party the last few weeks.

It's really too bad that the Republican idiots can't see people's rights for what they are. But even if they're so stupid they can't do that, they ought to at least be able to see it from the point of view of self interest. If they're so eager to take away someone else's rights, then who's to prevent someone else from taking away their rights?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Reading Is Super Cool

They say reading is fundamental, but I say it's super cool.

If you can get interested in a book -- and the first chapter's usually the toughest -- you'll find great rewards in reading. I know I have, finding the various stories very appealing.

I was at the town library yesterday, and I must say, they have a lot of great books. If you follow a few simple rules, they leave you alone. You can look to your heart's content. And you can read all you want ... for free!

If you qualify for a library card, and most people who can show positive identification and are patient through the waiting period do, you can check out books, also to your heart's content. I've got four books right here!

No one gave me any grief while I was there. I probably could've gone in there with a scoop shovel and no one would've cared!

Summer is coming to a close. It'll be ending any day now. But while it lasts, how about doing yourself a favor, and reading!

Monday, August 09, 2010

Those Profitable Google Ads

I keep hearing how much Google is worth with all the money they make on ads.

And I have to say, "Yes!" Because I know firsthand. You see, I run many of their ads on my very popular blogs, and I know I'm doing all right.

All told, I'm making somewhere between 0 and $1,000 a day on their ads, and that's great. It's definitely enough that, say someday I wanted to buy a pair of shoes or something, I would eventually be able to afford them.

Thanks for visiting the fine merchants who advertise with these little Google ads. And not just for visiting, but also buying whatever it is that they sell and that you need.

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Also Spake Zarathrustra

Ba -ba - ba - BUH - DUH! Boom boom boom boom.
Ba- ba - ba - BUH - DUH!

Friday, August 06, 2010

I could go on at some length, blah blah blah, ad just short of infinitum. No one said I couldn`t, who of course would be wrong.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

How Utterly Worthless Ben Nelson Is

This just in, on new Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan:

The Democrats were nearly united in support, with only Sen. Ben Nelson (D-NE) voting "No." 
Isn't it amazing how utterly worthless Ben Nelson is? On this and every other issue that comes down the pike. If he's so afraid of losing in Nebraska, just become a Republican already. It's not that we would know the difference.

Toilet Paper

Neatly prepare or wad?

Monday, August 02, 2010

The Ear Canal

How complicated is the ear canal anyway?

I keep getting the itchies in my ear canals. Is canals even the right word for it? The place between the outer ear and the hearing bits.

Why are ear and hear virtually the same word? Hear is like ear with a breathing mark. You hear with an ear. An ear of corn can hear itself rustling in the field.

I would love to get rid of these itchies forever. I keep scratching them, then there's funky things that happen with my ears and drainage. It's a vicious cycle.

There ought to be some kind of medicine I could daub in there, Scalpicin for the ear.

Sunday, August 01, 2010


My 997th post is dedicated to my late dad.