Aqua Buddha

What is Aqua Buddha anyway? I never heard of him till this year. But it seems Aqua Buddha is the name of the god that Kentucky Senate candidate Rand Paul (R) worships, or something.

I'm not one to get in the way of someone's religion. If that's what he worships, of course that's his right as an American citizen and human being. I will defend anyone's right to worship whatever they want, be it rock, steel, a chunk of plaster, a flea they picked off their dog, anything. When I say I will defend their right to worship it, of course I'm hoping it doesn't come to a fist fight or weapons. I mean I will speak up if I feel they're being wronged in some way.

But that doesn't mean I won't make fun of it, because of course that's my right. I mean, picking a flea off a dog and worshiping it? To me, that's ridiculous. In my opinion, fleas aren't worthy of worship. They're worthy of a swift and painful death. But they're relatively tough to kill.

And to worship a chunk of plaster, that's also ridiculous. Which is what a lot of these Buddhas are. I sold some of them on eBay a few years ago. I had some Buddhas, swamis, etc., made of plaster. One of them got to the guy with its head broken off, so I had to refund his money. But I let him keep it, since what do I want with a severed head statue? So I suppose he kept it ... enjoyed his money back ... and got a lot of good worship in.

Was it Rand Paul I sold it to? I don't have any records of my sales from those days -- just my memory, and I couldn't say it was Rand Paul, and I couldn't say it wasn't. I hadn't heard of him back then. Even if it was him, it didn't ring any bells. But it doesn't seem likely, you know, in the total scheme of things. Although obviously he needs to get them somewhere, so it could've been me.

So I'm not a hypocrite, just because I sold a few of these, because I'm not making any judgments here. If that's what he wants to worship, like I said ... it's fine with me.

Now, what is the Aqua part of Aqua Buddha all about? It could be the statues out by the koi pond, or in the koi pond. I've seen Buddhas under water before, like in aquariums. It keeps the fish very zenned out, one assumes.