The Last Days Of Pompeii

This is a movie I watched, "The Last Days of Pompeii," from 1935, starring Preston Foster, Alan Hale, and Basil Rathbone.

It's an oldie and it has its moments. It has a kind of old, stuffy feel to it, though, but it's still pretty good. We follow the career of Marcus (MARCVS on the gladiator showbill), who starts out as a blacksmith, becomes a gladiator, a horse trader, and on up the ladder to bigger and better things. He's always after more money, more power, even though he started out quite happy with what he had. But his wife and child were killed and that changed things.

Through killing another gladiator, he ends up adopting the guy's son. And Marcus is very devoted to his son, Flavius. After hearing a soothsayer saying Flavius will meet the greatest person in Judea, with some help coming his way, they go there, where Marcus's path crosses both Pontius Pilate and Jesus Christ. Jesus heals Flavius, which sticks in his mind years later as influential. Pilate actually becomes a family friend and is seen in scenes toward the end, years later.

There's a conflict between father and son on their values having to do with sending slaves to their death in the Arena. The son sides with the slaves, really because he has that influence from Jesus about "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Marcus sees more value in making money off their death. This is building to Pompeii's eventual destruction by Vesuvius. And from that point what becomes of the characters, which would be a spoiler to say.

The sets are pretty good looking. The special effects are not bad. The movie's in black and white.

Yellowstone (Blu-ray Disc Review)

In getting a Blu-ray disc player, of course I needed a Blu-ray disc to watch. Most of the movies for sale, to me, either looked like pure crap or were too expensive. I'm finicky.

On the other hand, I'm not much for documentaries. Not that I don't like to learn, but they're not usually something worth watching more than once. That's a big problem for most video, in my opinion, unless it's something classic like The Three Stooges or five star movies.

But it didn't make much sense to buy the player and not have something to play on it. So I bought a few discs, including this one, Yellowstone, part of a Scenic National Parks series produced by Bellevue Entertainment and distributed by Questar.

It was filmed and mastered in High Def and is approximately 98 minutes. It is divided into two programs, Yellowstone and Grand Teton, with the latter being labeled a "Bonus Program."

There's quite a bit of scenery, wildlife, shots of geysers, and so forth. This is all stunning in appearance and quite nice. I liked to see it. The downside would be the documentary format. They're actually trying to teach you things about geology, the history of the places, etc., which means park rangers standing there explaining things. That's a big downside, because I do not want to see close ups of park rangers and geologists. They have one guy, apparently not filmed in high def, going on in between five to eight shots, and I just had to throw back my head in disgust, "Saints, preserve us!" Then we're going along nicely, watching the geysers, and suddenly, Park Ranger So and So is back for another teaching moment, which sucks.

The high def part on the park rangers has this benefit, you can clearly read their badges, so if you have any complaint about their boring information, it wouldn't be too hard to Google them and tell them about it. But they blurred out most license plate information, so if you have a complaint against a particular scene of a tourist van, you're on your own there. I have no real complaints against the park rangers. Their information is no doubt beneficial to most sixth graders. But for me, I'd like to see the scenery, hear the birds, watch the moose, thrill to the geysers without a lot of blah blah blather.

Great pictures, disappointing teaching crap. By the way, not everything is High Def. As I said, the one geologist guy. And other film they show along the way is not as clear as High Def. Historic footage, like Mt. St. Helens erupting, that's understandable, but non historic footage, just to make some geologist's point, that's not so understandable.

Give me scenery and wildlife and lots of it. None of this other stuff.

Nine Inch Nails - The Slip

First, what do I know about Nine Inch Nails. Virtually nothing, the guy who is whatever in it, Trent Reznor. And I have an album, maybe I've had more, things come and go. Downward Spiral, I know, I bought it when it first came out. But being an expert in NIN's recorded output -- or even that one particular album -- nope, I ain't.

That doesn't mean I don't recognize a bargain when I see it, since this new album is a free download at their site. I've already listened to the first four or five tracks and like it so far. But I'm going to back up and do this blog entry about it, because I do like it.

1) 999,999 - Ethereal rising of sounds, short track (1:25), increasing in volume, like a factory doing quiet work. Some voices indistinct. Segues into....

2) 1,000,000 - (3:56). Very cool immediate, insistent guitars, and great vocal interplay. I love it, and being not a big fan over the years, I'm struck by how accessible (conventional?) of a song this is. "I feel a million years away, I don't feel anything at all." This will be a favorite track of mine, I'm sure, since it's like audio medicine for needy souls (I'm funny, right, but sincere in that.) Ooo, I like the layers here of dirty guitars. "So high, so far to fall." A million miles away! Great one, goes like that till an abrupt ending.

3) Letting You - (3:49). Starts with drums and jagged, nervous guitars. Some industrial grime tossed into the mix, processed trebly voice. Nice nervous breakdown sound. It's getting very thick, less conventional than the 2nd track, but as nice as can be. The voices fall out and the guitars exchange a few notes, then back into the singing. A very muddy sound, like snarling. Cheaper than a therapist, and probably more understanding, crank it up. Distorts itself into oblivion, nicely.

4) Discipline - (4:19). This one has a great guitar/drum thing going on. And very casual vocals, very honest sounding. Probably not as casual as it sounds. I do like "raggedness" in art, or anything really. Blog writing. Ragged is good. This is just a blissful song, shouldn't be challenging to anyone's nerves, even with pretty bits, a piano, oo-oo's in the vocals. Simple, nice. "Once I start, I cannot stop myself, I need your discipline, I need your help." This is a restraining sentiment, so I guess there's some positive vibes there.

5) Echoplex - (4:45). Very clean sound, drums, guitar. Lone vocal, immediate, close to you. A simple, stripped down sound and feeling. After a bit there's some more complex layering introduced. "My voice just echoes off these walls." It goes on like that, a comfortable song, nothing especially challenging to the senses here. Interesting mood music, which I like, the introspective, not utterly predictable sound, enough things to listen to. Could really be background music, not meant as an insult. Toward the end there's more going on simultaneously, then it simplifies, strips down again.

6) Head Down - (4:55). Synthesizer type of thing with distortion, guitar distorted, clean drum to start. Then a voice, clear, addressing audience in brief snippets of lyrics. Interplay of instruments has machine like give and take. Impressionistic to me, personally, like a printing press, gears going around, etc. I like the mixture of cleanness and density. It's a very organized song, conventional while still being interesting. This is my first time through, and I like it (not always a good sign). But the density is challenging enough to remain interesting for many other listens. I like the instrumental break, it's more haphazard, like splotches of sound thrown against the wall. At the end it all goes away, and sounds like something over-processed on Cool Edit.

7) Lights In The Sky - (3:29). Very very laid back beginning, piano and subdued vocal, then going on like that. Sounds like a demo so far, kind of like what a John Lennon demo sounds like, different voice of course. Second draft kind of thing, first recording. I don't know, I'm not too whoopie for this one.

8) Corona Radiata - (7:33). A long song here. Opens with a menacing humming drone, like a beast on the horizon, getting closer. Going on like that, texture going a couple ways in a very patient, whaaaaaa, then a more trebly eeeee announcing itself (don't you love my technical musicese?). Drone it out, whaa whaa eee. Hovering overhead, like a helicopter cutting out some of the whack whack whack, and overprocessing it, that's what it would sound like. Now it's settling down for a long winter's nap. I have my thinking cap on. This should be the last sound I hear just before I fall asleep. Maybe my dreams would have a more linear stability to them, which would be a welcome change. We're moving on, not too much difference, except there's some distant, approaching hoofbeats, closer. Then like a drum in a distant apartment or car driving by, if there were something wrong with your ears. This I would call a tone piece, like something to lift weights to (not heavy heavy weights, just 15 pounders, or 20 at the most.) You get good impressions, like maybe a crowd of people is being portrayed, a bunch of communists in dark grey costumes and strange faces, like something from My Chemical Romance. The people are crying for their freedom. The piece is building, struggling either to live or die, and since we have to be getting toward the end, probably the latter. Now some crazy birds pop in, only to be liquidated by a bubbling guitar or droning killing tank.

9) The Four of Us Are Dying - (4:37). I like the whole clean-cut sense of things here. Everything is very much in sync. Beat-beat-beat, dom, dom, dom, Duane Eddy on acid in the background, maybe Link Wray smiling in there somewhere. Reminds me of something with tusks. Ponderous, like machines tapping out Morse Code, machines that are working well. The guitars are like wrenches being thrown into the gears. But it still flows along like a well-oiled ship's motor. Big, powerful, death screams, being electrocuted. Then fading down to a manageable drone. Here is a high pitched weee thing, and the mix starts building again, not slowly. Ponderosity is back, and nice. I could call this the Ponderosa, it's certainly big and expansive enough to be a ranch. And since the album was free that was a Bonanza for me. Hard guitars and out.

10) Demon Seed - (4:55). This is going to round out the album. It starts heavy enough, and very clean. This sounds like the kind of song I can sink my teeth in. And since I'm getting a filling tomorrow, it's just in time. Some actual vocals are back, with a breathy vocal deeper in the mix. The instruments are all heavy, still with a very clean sound. Heavy, beautiful. It's the sound of words back there, which I don't entirely understand because I was focused on the music. This is a favorite track, one of them, so far. About midway the vocals are more front but the instruments don't fade. There's a 'yeah yeah yeah yeah' from other voices, higher pitched. Then with that gone, the instruments are like slam-slam, a door falling on you over and over. Very pretty, lavish instrumentation. The vocals more insistent, the yeah-yeah-yeah's back. Then it cuts off and dizzies down into some other more peaceful valley or realm. The instruments are a little bit on fire, wondering where they should go next. I hear a few backfires, sparks leaping off. Then it's wild man at the sledge again, more so than before. Very heavy, digging in for the long haul, I would guess. We're crescendoing it to the door, is my guess. Sweet song, one that I'm going to have a nice time listening to when I'm not busy typing at the same time. Then it just clips off. Silence.

I would call this, overall, a fairly conventional album, accessible to my shriveled up ears, although I was already in the mood for it. There's nothing I heard that would leave you feeling worse than you already feel. And plenty, actually, to cheer you up and give you a sense of understanding. Sound, albums can do that, and I believe this one hits the mark.

Goldfrapp - Seventh Tree

I'm fascinated by the new album. It's beautiful in every way.

I was a little nervous because I liked it the first time through. Usually for me albums I really like were more challenging the first time I heard them. It could be that it's immediately likable because it's simple-sounding, but as it turns out that's deceptive. It's a strange one, not that everyone hears albums the same way of course. But for me this album goes from likable, then with a couple listenings to disappointing, then with a couple more lovable. Why disappointing? Because it is so (deceptively) simple that you think you've heard it all. But with repeated listenings, the actual texture that's really there develops and you notice a much greater depth; there is actual complexity and lots of discovery moments.

In my opinion, the theme of the album is about transformation, transcendence, or something like that. In a poetic, enchanting way. And there has to be discovery moments in something like that.

"Clowns" starts off. The words are muffled but become clearer as we go. "Only clowns would play with those balloons...titties that go on and on." Pretty tune, and words that aren't clear (literally) or even as something to understand. But I can see connections.

"Little Bird" is next, so lovely. It seems that something happened in July. A little bird flew from A to B to see what she can see. Great freedom song, with two mouths for eyes.

"Happiness" is third. This is a happy sounding song, like we're all on a journey to "find the real inner you," and welcoming you..."floating in a magic world." There's good depth in the voices and everything is crystal clear in a sunshine world. I like the delicate instruments marching around at the edges. This is a trip I like to take!

"Road to Somewhere" next. "I'm on my way on the road to somewhere." The tone is more subdued on this one.

"Eat Yourself." This one has some subdued static effect that makes it sound older and more distant. It's like a processing effect that doesn't take away clarity but recalls (not explicitly) a rainy feeling. The words and tune sound sad and actually does say "She worse plastic boots for rain," which I hadn't noticed. But listen to this cool lyric: "If you don't eat yourself no doubt the pain will instead." She doesn't sing it so it's decipherable, but that's what the booklet says! Plus, there's some very rich layers here.

"Some People." "Some people feel they're in touch with spirit worlds, talking to you now." And some people have all kinds of troubles. "You know it, you owe it to yourself." This song has big expressive notes, expansive strings.

"A & E." We're back in happy town. I like hearing this song come on. It has a building-building pace, like we're going up, going toward something. The tip top is "I woken up surrounded by me. A & E" Then the second verse is more involved in intensity and the same trip is taken, progressively upward. Ends a little soon for my taste.

"Cologne Cerrone Houdini." The vocal on this track reminds me most of the tracks on "Felt Mountain," same kind of phrasing throughout. These big strings-notes that remind me of a horn section, which of course they're not, are a distinctive feature of the song. "Could we be together in another world." The little illustration in the booklet is a car heading down the road toward a heart and sun.

"Caravan Girl" (9th song). The most obviously pop sounding song on the album, with enough gypsy magic and mystery to remain forever enchanting. The tune is as beautiful as any cool, happy rock song. If you're on the treadmill listening to this song, beware that your heart-rate might get away from you, because you can't help rocking out! Such lovely voices toward the ending, oh my. "We'll run away!"

"Monster Love," last song. I like clicking on this song. There's some instrumentation that sounds like reversed music, but it fits in an excellent way, making it nicely complex. But everything sounds so simple. With the chorus, "Everything comes around," etc., there's this super heartbeat kind of plodding, not a good word I know. It's like a pulsing, the same bass note several times in a row. "I felt the earth could move. The folly of a monster love like you." Then back to the chorus, very rich and layered. This could be looped for eternity, if you catch the meaning... "where we start and where we end, everything comes around, bringing us back again."

What an album. A beautiful one.

The Addams Family -- Backed Up With Episodes

Morticia Meets Royalty

The Addams Family has an aunt from Iowa who was married to a prince. So she's royalty, and it's completely gone to her head. She seems to have lost her money, and is a total pauper, but is still very hoity-toity, demanding the various royal perogatives. Somehow in the episode, which I've forgotten, oil on her land maybe, she gets back her riches and is able to go off and travel the world.

The highlight of the episode is the romance between Thing, and the aunt's own hand-in-a-box, Lady Fingers. They're busy gettin' it on. Except at one point, Lady Fingers isn't there and it's a claw of some old lady in the box, which freaks everyone out.


Gomez, The People's Choice

The mayor is our old friend Henson. But Gomez thinks he's corrupt, so Gomez is going to run for mayor. The Addams Family has a big computer in their front room that spits out various answers to questions and helps him prepare for his campaign. His poster is something about Gomez smoking, which he does a lot of.

Gomez and the family, of course being weird, come across as weird to the reporters covering the campaign. But they think it's all a gag, turning conventional wisdom on its ear, so to speak, and popular support is overwhelming for Gomez. The mayor essentially concedes defeat before the election even happens, based on the large number of petition signatures that Mama and Fester have accrued. As it turns out, there's a slight problem with the signatures, leaving Gomez out of politics. Alas.


Cousin Itt's Problem

Cousin Itt is losing his hair. Fester makes a hair growing tonic. He has his hair back. Cousin Itt gets a dog. Etc.

The Addams Family -- Gomez and Morticia Meet

This was a two-parter. But not handled like most "To Be Continued" shows are. It's framed with the parents telling Pugsley and Wednesday the story of how they came to meet and marry.

It's kind of boring. Very crazy with entertaining places, but mostly blah.

Morticia is cute as can be in the flashback to 13 years ago. She has various morbid qualities that no one seems to wonder about, even though her mother has a more or less conventional personality, and her sister, while very weird, isn't weird in the same way as Morticia. No one wonders why she clips off the flowers and keeps the stems, for example. She is definitely a doll, ooo la la (which may be French, kissing my own arm.)

Gomez looks virtually the same 13 years ago as he does now in 1965. Different suit. He appears to have less confidence and pizazz. But he displays his greater qualities whenever Morticia is around. Fester looks precisely the same 13 years ago, including the exact same clothes, as does Lurch and Cousin Itt.

Morticia's mother is played by Margaret Hamilton. There's quite a bit with Mamma, who is Gomez's mamma, which I had wondered about. (I haven't looked up anything on other sites, where all these questions are no doubt answered.) Fester is Morticia's uncle. Morticia's last name is Frump. Her sister, Ophelia, plays a lyre, has flowers in her hair, and is a blonde.

Mother Frump wants to set up Gomez and Ophelia, as does Mamma Adams. So the basis of the conflict throughout is how Gomez might back out of the wedding, as he's promised to marry her. This is where it gets blah. But, it's mildly entertaining, with all the other cute stuff going on.

Cousin Itt has an extensive role in these episodes, including being shrunken by a hairdryer.

The funniest line, as I recall, was at the end when Gomez says Itt had been quite a playboy, and Pugsley says he'd like to hear that story. Gomez has a grin that looks like a genuine chuckle, like he actually is amused.

The Addams Family -- My Fair Cousin Itt

My Fair Cousin Itt, I didn't notice the title before watching it. They do some homemade speech therapy on Itt, like in My Fair Lady. His usual chirrups give way to debonair Hollywood actor speak. In fact, it turns out that Itt's speaking voice is just normal English spoken rapidly. When he slows down, it's a lot easier for non-Addams people to discern his meaning. Although, as any regular viewer knows, even his high pitch squeaks and trills are recognizable for the words they are the more concentration you give them. It was interesting hearing Morticia speaking in Itt's usual voice. When he brought it down to our speed, it seemed to drag. Since I was tired anyway, though, it was a welcome switch.

In this episode, it's coming up on Wednesday's birthday and they're going to do a family play. Gomez wrote it. The plot sounds vaguely familiar, about two lovers whose family opposes their match and who end up dead by the end of the story. But who to play the lead male part? Morticia will be the female. Then it comes down to Itt for the part, with Fester as understudy, and Lurch as Fester's understudy. Meaning if anything happens to Itt [evil grin], Fester will take over. And if anything happens to Fester [evil grin], Lurch will take over. So Itt ends up in a bag in a trunk and Fester in an iron maiden.

But Gomez gets it sorted out, and Morticia lays down the law about the play being cancelled if anything happens to Itt. With all that safely squared away, Gomez has some professional help, by way of a director. He's funny, made funnier by a monocle that falls out when he's patted on the back. He's only in it for the money, and Gomez pays cash.

Once Itt's voice changes, and he knows he's a good actor, the whole stardom thing goes to his head. He has a sheepdog, sunglasses, decked out like Cary Grant.

There's some funny bits in this one, the monocle guy is about the funniest, that he would keep forgetting the $60,000 when it comes to his artistic integrity.

The Addams Family -- Winning of Morticia Addams

Gomez and Morticia are the perfectly happy couple. But Fester reads an article that couples who fight are happiest, that the others' marriages are disasters waiting to happen. The article is by a psychologist who appears in the last half of the episode.

To save their marriage, then, Fester, Mama, Lurch, and Thing resolve to get them upset with one another. But anything they do is quickly dismissed by Gomez and their marriage stays happy. One interesting part is Gomez' Zen Yogi class, presided over by a cliche TV guru with turban. He comes to the house, Gomez insults him, he leaves.

The psychologist is a very good fencer, having killed three husbands, I believe. So he and Gomez are going to duel. Before this, and precipitating the duel, the psychologist had fallen in love with Morticia. Now it's up to the family to prevent the duel, since Gomez doesn't handle a sword well.

I couldn't quite understand why the psychologist was the one to back out. Morticia said something about Gomez not liking to travel, then the next thing the psychologist backed out. So, if that's a fencing term, or whatever. It wasn't clear to me, and I was halfway paying attention, too. So all's well.

But Morticia wonders if she's worth fighting over anymore.

The entire family was there for the episode. Wednesday was missing a tooth. Fairly good. Not clear why the psychologist didn't want to fight.

Cousin Itt was back, in his little room.

The Addams Family -- Lurch the Teen Idol

Lurch grunts and groans his way to superstardom, at least for the screaming fans outside the Addams' house.

His style is very avant garde, nearly beatnik, but he's a favorite for the Beatles audience, who end up mauling him and keeping him from a worldwide tour. And he looked so nice in his Alpine boy's suit.

I thought I was really going to like this episode, but had a rough time with it. Which was my mood and nothing essentially bad about the episode. Some of Gomez and Morticia's lines were too typically sit com. And I prefer Lurch a little less ridiculous. Fester's taking a picture of himself with a lightbulb wasn't funny.

Lurch's song was pretty cool. It was funny that they didn't go for any actual singing.

The Addams Family -- Cousin Itt, Vocational Problems

The exact title escapes me. But basically Cousin Itt is trying to find himself, his purpose, by getting a job. But what? The occupation of marriage counselor comes up and is central to the plot, as Gomez and Morticia role play a couple with problems. Then Morticia thinks they actually have problems because Gomez does it so sincerely.

The guy from Dick Van Dyke is a vocational counselor, Richard Deacon. He's amazed that Itt was very much aptitude. He can arrange blocks in the corresponding holes in a very nice way. He can correctly identify all the Rorschach inkblots. And he's a pretty conversationalist as well, if you have Gomez and Morticia to interpret. Although Richard Deacon's character, Dr. something, picks up Itt's language and converses with him. It turns out that Itt has an IQ of 320 and that the job he is ideally suited for is marriage counselor. This is kind of a spoiler, since that's the punchline and forces Gomez to have the doctor evicted from the house. Lurch and Itt throw out his briefcases and other things. He leaves behind the blocks and Wednesday Addams shows that she might be a genius too!

Highlights of the episode include Lurch in Itt's tiny little room. He has a small door, a lowered ceiling, everything at his scale. Lurch does a lot of good growling, but it's painful to see Lurch hit his head on ceiling beams a few times, then finally have to crawl from the room. Fester has a bit part, which I've pretty much forgotten. Mama isn't there, rather, she's upstairs somewhere playing pinochle. Pugsley appears briefly at the beginning, Wednesday at the beginning and ending.

Gomez and Morticia have a sexy scene, in which he has ideas, but she tells him later.

Gomez has a funny scene when he's locked out of the bedroom, after their marriage counselor spat. He's in funky pajamas, smoking his cigar, looking for a place downstairs to sleep. He gets the little two way loveseat they have.

It's not an extremely funny episode. Hair jokes about Cousin Itt, listening to his squeaks and the corresponding interpretation, that sort of thing dominates. I'm always amazed, though, at Gomez's liveliness, his eyes, reactions, expressions, very great. And the same for Morticia, except she is always a lot more laid back, of course.

Thing helps get the phone number for the vocational guy. Also delivers the mail. And knocks on his box as applause for a dance and musical bit that Gomez and Morticia did.

Agent Nine and the Jewel Mystery

Earlier this month I gave a synopsis and a basic review of the old book "Agent Nine Solves His First Case." At the end of the book, the reader is prompted to check into Agent Nine's involvement in the Jewel Mystery. I happened to be at an antique store and what do I happen to see on the shelf, but "Agent Nine and the Jewel Mystery," and actually another copy of "Solves His First Case;" I got the "Jewel Mystery" to complete my collection, apparently, of the Agent Nine series. I looked over at ABEbooks for other Agent Nine books by Graham M. Dean and these seem to be the only two, although there are other books by the same author, which I did not look through entirely. Whew!

But I'm thinking, Five Bucks, hmm, oh, it seems so much for literature that is going to be ultimately so meaningless. Oh, what the heck. It's beat to death, the cover is weak and coming apart, now hanging by several threads, but this isn't a book museum I'm running here, so I guess I may as well get it over with, get myself up to date on Bob Houston's last known adventure and let it go at that.

The same characters are back, including Merritt Hughes, Bob's uncle; Bob Houston, himself, the straight arrow, new federal agent; Condon Adams, Merritt's co-worker and sometimes nemesis, and Tully Ross (boo!), Bob's not-so-straight arrow co-worker and sometimes nemesis. I think it's right around page 1 that the organization they work for it not just an investigation organization within the Justice Department, but IS in fact the FBI. That's different from the first book.

The first several pages tidy up things concerning the first case, first book. Tully has done a foolish thing by granting interviews concerning the case, against Justice Department policy. They're able to narrow it down to him very easily since TULLY ROSS is credited with several things about the case that he in fact wasn't responsible for. So you can picture the interview, "Yeah, just make sure you get the name right, T-U-L-L-Y ROSS. It'll be real easy for me to go back to the FBI and deny that I was ever the source of the articles!" But as it turns out, he's shifting uneasily from foot to foot and admits he was the source. Tully!

Well, from that point on, Tully is in fine sneering form in the little bit of the book he appears in. He actually tells Bob he doesn't like him very much and that they're rivals. His deviousness, though, like Condon's, doesn't go very far. They discover quickly that against the kind of thugs they're up against, it's best to be a team player.

The set-up for this one is that Bob and Tully are being sent to Florida to solve a Jewel Mystery, having to do with smugglers somehow bringing in diamonds and selling them. We basically know where they are, so Tully is going to one town and Bob to another town. The smugglers will be somewhere in the middle. The book has a lot less to do with solving the mystery, though, than of getting there to do the solving. There's 252 pages in the book, and by page 150, thereabouts, he's just getting to Florida. The trip is eventful, to say the least, and full of adventure, but you know the actual solving of the case is going to get the short end of the stick.

The whole first section, then, more than half the book, is the train ride to Jacksonville. There's a passenger who's a diamond salesman (jewels, remember), who turns out to be Nefarious Guy No. 1, Joe Hamsa. Hamsa has absolutely no problem disarming, evading, tricking, knocking out, and stealing the confidential papers of Tully and Bob. Tully and Bob are completely incompetent and can't seem to do anything right. Bob, of course, has the edge over Tully, who has his papers stolen first, is knocked out first, and who vacates the rest of the book. Tully literally contributes nothing to the story.

Bob can't find Hamsa, no matter how often he flashes his badge and informs everyone he is a federal agent. Where can Hamsa be? For such an admirable boy adventurer, he must've been hired because his uncle was an agent and not for any kind of innate detective abilities. Think, stupid, the train does have a top! The most interesting things about Bob, really, is that he can fight when he really has get the chance, he's basically fearless, and, that's about it, oh, he gets lucky breaks when he needs them. He takes showers and he eats. He needs seconds at pancakes, which is unbelievable, since, to me anyway, pancakes are very filling after just one or two.

So, he finally gets to Florida, meets up with Uncle Merritt, who is promptly kidnapped, as in the "First Case" book. Now it's just Bob, working his badge magic with taxi drivers, telegraph operators, anyone who gets in his way. He's a federal agent, he's a federal agent, he's a federal agent, always throwing his weight around. He works a while with Condon, who is graciously setting aside some of his rivalry issues with Merritt to help find Merritt. There's a touching scene where Condon and Bob are together and Condon asks, "Your uncle means quite a lot to you?" Bob nods. "You know he does. He got me into the service and he's pretty much of an older brother to me." The narrator tells us a waitress took their orders before Adams spoke again. "Then you know how I feel about Tully; he's kind of a kid brother to me. But that's getting away from what I started to say. Your uncle and I have always been rivals in the service. One of us would solve a good case and then the other would win on the next one. He's never liked the way I got in through a little political help, but on the whole I've done a pretty good job. Gosh, I wouldn't know what to do if anything happened to him to take him out of the service."

Yet, in the rest of the book, Condon has next to nothing to do with solving the case, rescuing the uncle, or anything.

In fact, the book gets kind of rushed about here. Afterall, the case needs to be solved, and Bob is not mobile enough or resourceful enough -- not entirely his own fault -- to find all the clues he's going to need to do it singlehandedly. So enters, virtually, a deux ex machina to help us along, Sheriff McCurdy, who knows everyone, every place, everything. After a tussle over who Bob is, being so young, to be carrying a gun, etc., he and Bob go point-point-point, connect-the-dots, and solve the case. Since everyone knows it has to be a happy ending, Merritt is in the other room tied up. The jewels are coming in. The smugglers have us trapped. There's some gunplay. The smugglers are nabbed and led away.

Then, as improbable as anything I've ever read, Merritt and Bob burn down the smugglers' cabin so that no one gets any idea to use it as a smugglers' cabin ever again! Oh brother, what if that cabin happens to belong to someone? What if they might search it for additional evidence? Let's burn down every cabin in the world just to prevent criminals from possibly using them! LOL, so stupid.

OK, Writer Graham M. Dean apparently needed to churn this puppy out on a deadline. Some of the adventure stuff on the train ride's pretty good. There's no endless wrestling in the dark as in "First Case," so that's good. The characters, though, don't have any consistent interaction and relevance to the case throughout. Bob being isolated means he will have to fight it out uphill on his own. But then Sheriff McCurdy happens along and turns out to be the real hero of the book. Bob never really gains in competence, doesn't do any detecting, and really deserves none of the credit, and so it's all quite empty from the standpoint of your hero ought to be the hero.

Published by Goldsmith, 1935. Thrilling exploits of "G" Men.

The Addams Family -- Uncle Fester's Toupee

DVD time, with the Addams Family. It's amazing how nice this show looks, how crisp, all the episodes, and the way the characters and running gags don't get tiresome.

This one features Uncle Fester. I wonder who's uncle he actually is. Gomez says to him that he has Addams' blood flowing through him, but when he's asked his last name, he doesn't know. So I don't know either. I've never looked it up at an official fan site, but I've always assumed Mama was Morticia's mother, and that Fester was her uncle, Mama's brother. That would explain the rancor seen between Fester and Mama from time to time, a little bit of competition. But in that case Fester wouldn't be an Addams, excluding inbreeding, of course. Maybe they want it to be intentionally vague, hence his lack of memory as to what his last name is.

The set-up for this one is that he has a pen-pal, a woman, and he's done what a lot of online people reportedly have done, make up things about themselves that aren't true. I seem to recall an Andy Griffith show with this premise as well, in which Howard the Barber makes himself out to be a wealthy playboy or something, for the sake of impressing a lady. Well, Fester, who doesn't actually seem like the pen-pal writing type, has this lady friend out there. He's represented himself as having a full head of hair, of being a football player, of being a Cary Grant type.

So what to do about the hair. We have a section in which toupees are tried on, not by Fester, but by Gomez, to give to Fester later. That's pretty funny. There's even a mohawk toupee!

The lady shows up, Fester looks great, it seems like they'll be a couple from then on. He even does the kissing her arm when she speaks French bit. Prompting Morticia to say the funniest line of the show, "You men have such a low boiling point."

The other Addams aren't too thrilled with this change in their lives, and so they turn her off to Fester, prompting her to dump him unceremoniously and even call him Baldy.

Lurch is up for some great growing in this one. Thing is there to do some things. And all works out well. Mama is nowhere to be seen, the kids, gone.

The episode is very SIT-COM.

The Addams Family -- Progress

I foolishly failed to write my Addams Family report in a timely fashion, and now days have passed since this particular viewing, so I shan't be dripping with humorous detail vis-a-vis the DVD goings-on of this episode.

It is called Progress and the Addams Family, aired sometime in 1965 for the first time (cf. TVLand for pertinent details, or perhaps the Dictionary of Who Cares).

In this remarkable episode, the house itself is the main character! We've had one for Pugsley, one for Lurch, how about the house? It seems that the state is going to build a freeway right through the Addams' property. The house must be moved or demolished. Our old friend, Mr. Henson, late of the insurance business, is now the able highway commissioner in charge of getting the Addams Family to vacate that piece of land.

Here's where my remembered details get sketchy. They have seat belts and they're buckled in to physically move the mansion. They are going to put it next door to Henson and Mrs. Henson, which in the end lights a fire under Henson to have the freeway rerouted. But actually not until the house is jacked up and moved a certain distance, with some interesting stock footage showing such things, and even the interesting glimpse of a bunch of people along the road watching.

The funniest line concerns Lurch, who is said to be hanging his head out a window, growling at people as they go by.

Mrs. Henson is a real delight in this show. She's a mixture of society woman and mouse, looking every bit the part of someone from a Three Stooges episode. The old order of prim propriety is well-preserved in some of these old shows. It makes you wonder what purpose they had in living, since the joy they knew entirely superficial, but that takes us into philosophical realms that dasn't be ventured upon today.

My big thought about this episode is how complicated it is. It seemed like it was put together with some loving care. I might think they'd try to rush these episodes through, and make them as simple as possible, but this one like so many of the others, has some complexity.

The Addams Family -- Morticia's Favorite Charity

Originally aired 4/16/1965, has aired several times since then, including last night on my very TV, via the medium of DVD, thanks to the current availability of numerous old TV series for personal viewing. I really like the idea. O, for money and time!

This episode I viewed while terribly sick, a spring cold, something that started in the throat and went then all the other places. Feeling like death warmed-over and alternately chilled what could be better for such a spirit than an episode of The Addams Family. Meaning, of course, that for one who doesn't laugh out loud at such things that often anyway, it was going to come across even less funny in this state.

I would call this episode something like a presentation episode. The characters, except for Mama, are presented as a whole. They are distinguished from one another without a focus on any one, then distinguished, as is common in the Addams' life, from the outside world. So what would that be, a tour de force or ensemble show?

There's not much to say about it except there's lots of great sight gags. They want to give items to the charity auction, which is headed up by our old insurance friend, Mr. Henson. The funniest thing in the show this time was him saying to another guy concerning Lurch that 'He's really a nice guy.' I thought that was a good touch, very humane in the place of all the usual wild-eyed revulsion you get when conventional meets freak on old shows. A great thing about the Addams, in the ideal world, would be that you really could get to know them, and go over for some hemlock tea and maybe turn them on to ordinary drinks as well.

Being sick, it was a joy seeing Lurch, who got to speak a punchline in this episode pertaining to the reprocurement of Pugsley's precious roaring clock, which was "Paid me $5 to take it." A punchy line, about all you could expect from Lurch with his real slow delivery. I really like the looks of Lurch, tons of make-up, apparently, a very beautiful guy. It made me wonder what he would've looked like if the show had gone on for a number of years, since I can't remember when he died; I think it was a number of years later.

Pugsley being up the chimney was not terribly funny. The bidding on the items, that the Addams would get back, was not very funny, but necessary for the plot. It didn't make any sense that Henson wouldn't recognize the bidders as Morticia and Gomez. Hello! Wednesday's speaking parts are so carefully enunciated, it makes me wonder about her as an actress. And Fester, beautiful Fester, is something of a Houdini, getting in and out of a suit of armor without so much as a creak. I liked him with his head in the bookpress, something that might've done me some good, although my sickness wasn't primarily a headache as he had.

Gomez was as great and dapper as always, very confident. Morticia as charming and beautiful as always. But no Mama, except a picture of her in the background. The moose clock and the other clock, the make of which has slipped my mind, was funny, as Gomez synchronized them. But that was toward the end and I was begging the episode to hurry up and be over so I could get to bed.

The Addams Family — My Son, The Chimp

This is a top notch episode, a fine one involving a case of mistaken identity or mistaken cause and effect.

Everybody is on board for this one, the kids and Mamma. Pugsley is greatly featured, mixed up with a stray monkey who's come into the house. Since Pugsley let the monkey have a spare shirt, identical to the one he always wears, and Uncle Fester is doing some magic conjuring, and Pugsley's back is against a forgotten revolving wall, you can guess what's about to happen. Fester throws some witch's ingredients on the charcoal and poof, Pugsley's gone and there's a monkey in a T-shirt just like his.

Morticia and Gomez are their usual cool selves. They want Pugsley back but they're not overly concerned about it. Mamma has a rivalry of sorts with Fester and calls his success in changing Pugsley "beginner's luck." There's some good gags on the old seance invitation to the spirits to 'knock once for yes,' etc., except they make it more complicated than necessary, directed toward Pugsley on the other side of the wall, and he doesn't know whether to scream, knock, or shut up. He's mainly back there reading old comic books anyway.

Fester looks suitably mystical in his big mystic's hat. Thing plays chess with Wednesday. I can't remember what Lurch does. He's playing the harpsichord right at the beginning, playing the Addams theme.

Nice one.

The Addams Family — Meet the Spacemen

The episode is from April 2, 1965, "The Addams Family and the Spaceman"

There are some very funny bits in this episode.

Pugsley, not seen on camera, is up in his room firing rockets into space, seen as streaks of fire shot from a window. The local branch of a UFO investigation organization notices this activity and gears up to do their thing. This is very funny. They have two guys with lightning bolts on their hats, and an old professor who has spent some time learning what Martians say when they speak. The two guys have a brief snippet that's the funniest, when they're talking about this professor, how smart he is. Their investigation site has numerous electronics boxes setting there, cool set.

The Addams Family, out on a midnight picnic — leaving the children home with Mamma — hear on the radio that there's some unidentified flying object activity right in their neighborhood. So they're on the lookout. The investigators come out to see what they might find and spot the Addams, looking a bit other-worldly. Cousin Itt is along, in fine coif, and with his beeping, squeaking voice, could almost pass as an alien. Gomez is in a striped bathing suit, Fester has a moonshade hat on, Morticia's body is literally smoking, Thing is sticking out of a hole in a tree, and Lurch and Itt are together, enough to raise anyone's suspicions.

But of course the Addams think the investigators might be the spacemen.

When the action gets back to the house, there are lots of great sight gags that continue to suggest alien behavior. There's a lot of back and forth with the spacetalk that the professor has discovered. The Addams take the investigators captive, the professor shows up, and he has a lot of good "befuddled professor" moments. He's really one of the true highlights of the episode.

Such a good episode. There's so much weirdness, droll humor, characters' personality sides, on and on, and it all looks great, too.

My Chemical Romance -- The Black Parade

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE -- The Black Parade

This is such a stunning, great album I can barely stop listening to it. I've been through the entire thing at least 10 times and love the sound completely.

The first I heard of these guys — and I don't know anyone's name, the singer, anybody — was the single "Welcome To The Black Parade" on the radio. It instantly became a favorite, very bombastic, over the top, suggestive of mortality and lots of other deep topics, the black plague maybe.

Viewing the video a few times, 'tis very nice and stylized, suggesting all the above and more. Kind of a proud slog through the basic dark experience our sad, persistent race has enjoyed or perhaps not so much.

The music of the album is thick, intense, theatrical, operatic, beautiful. The singer's voice is a beautiful one, spitting, with a very knowing tone throughout. Very proud and in your face, instantly lovable from the first track, "The End," a short one. "Dead!" follows. Such a punchy, great track. Nothing like beginning with The End and Dead. For all the apparent bleak tones — which are obscured down there somewhere — there is a lot of joy and sweetness to this album.

The album has so much energy, layers upon layers of sound, much of it so far over the top that you'll have a hard time coming back down. Highly recommended!!!!!

(As to the parental notice thingy, there's a few bits of language. You probably wouldn't want your third grader singing some of the songs in school or around the house.)

The Addams Family — Morticia, the Breadwinner

DVD, The Addams Family, TV shows, "Morticia, the Breadwinner," from Vol. 2 of the collected episodes.

This is a very fast-paced episode, with Gomez very manic in his buying on the stock market. We cut back and forth between him and his broker. Gomez is quite the high-roller. Since we all know he likes to watch his train sets crash and burn, he wants controlling interest in an actual railroad, the Big Swamp and Southern Railway, I think it was called. It's tough getting controlling interest, though, when you're a hundred shares short and there's no more for sale.

While on the phone, Gomez laments with the broker about someone else's trouble, how they're broke, busted, out of money. Morticia and Fester overhear this little snippet of dialogue and assume that Gomez means that he himself is broke, the family fortune gone. And so we get the title, "Morticia, the Breadwinner," along with the rest of the family, who decide to take odd jobs without letting on to Gomez that they know of his troubles. He has no idea, of course, and is still very profligate in his spending — making an order for $1,000 new cigars, for example — making Fester think it might be better if Gomez died, so they could live on his life insurance.

The odd jobs: Lurch and Fester open an escort service. Morticia sets up to teach fencing and tango lessons. Mamma seeks to offer beauty advice, figuring that her beautician skills relating to hair care ought to make some money. And the kids, Wednesday and Pugsley, are selling henbane by the drink on the sidewalk. Even with a black skull and crossbones for their logo and their henbane steaming like dried ice, a kindly gentleman still gives them a quarter for a glass.

Everyone is in great form for this episode. There's so much going on, and of course it's all so absurd, it's definitely a great episode. It's good to have the entire family. The children so sweetly say "Mother" when addressing Morticia. Gomez has a winning way with the kids. And there are numerous sight gags, including a big two headed turtle they have, and the "heirlooms" in the safe.

Finally, to get the needed 100 shares of the railroad, there's a fierce battle, a bidding war for shares Morticia and Fester have. She wants to use a fake name and suggests "Jones," but Fester asks "What kind of name is that?" Ha ha. Smith will be better. Gomez is relentless in bidding, and all's well that ends well. Except for one little thing concerning the railroad. Oh well!

The Addams Family - Lurch and His Harpsichord

The third episode on the DVD, vol. 2, collected episodes of The Addams Family, a fine collection of crisp, nice, black and white old TV shows (nice so far, anyway)...

This episode focuses in on Lurch's love for music, especially as it is comes forth from a beautiful old Krupnik harpsichord. I couldn't tell exactly which Krupnik model it was, but they're all good.

Lurch is playing, conducted by gloved Thing with baton; Gomez and Morticia are dancing and romancing; Fester is there. The rest of the family is away for the episode. A nice old gentleman comes by, recognizes the beauty of the playing, recognizes the Krupnik, and wants it for the museum. Gomez immediately gives it away, leaving Lurch feeling blue, which is very justified under the circumstances.

So we have the sad sight of Lurch crying, quitting, about to go home to his mother. The others decide to build another Krupnik, which, considering their lack of skill and the constant references to Gomez' and other Addams' failures, comes out as a nice instrument. No one ever complains, like I was expecting, that this is a faux Krupnik, and there aren't any clinkers in the playing.

Of course it all ends well, and Lurch can go on playing, doesn't have to quit, none of that.

In this episode I was thinking about the Addams, exactly what they're supposed to be. I always associated them with being haunted, or monstrous in certain ways. They have Itt and Thing and various other relatives they refer to, and Morticia's in her Vampira dress, and on and on. But in other ways they're nearly so conventional as to be bland. The music is nothing freaky. The artwork around the main room -- guy's leg sticking out of a big fish, a giraffe with clothes on -- seems more surreal than monstrous. No, they're not the Munsters, but just more or less eccentric, yet not so eccentric in other ways. As for all of Gomez's failures - such as being an attorney who wouldn't be able to adequately defend the old guy supposedly from the museum - how did he get to be an attorney in the first place? He seems pretty successful, so it doesn't all fit. The show is about suspending belief, yet what is put before us is not really all that radical. It makes me wonder about what kind of specifications the writers got, what kind of discussions they had to have, about how weird it should be, and how the various pieces of background - relatives, the Addams' psychology, etc. - where supposed to fit. The possibilities for the show, with the sit-com format and all the rest, seem so finite.

But it's a good show, especially for the appearance of it all. Just looking them, they're iconic.

I liked how Lurch was able to go from classical, minuet music almost involuntarily into a rock riff, just with a few flicks of Thing's hand.

And as for his crying, good thing they had the laugh track, because with a studio audience, there would've been those sickening, "Ahhhhs," you hear in a few more recent shows.

Agent Nine Solves His First Case

This is a "review," or a survey of a book I got the other day.

It was written by Graham M. Dean, published by Goldsmith in the 1930s. It was in that whole genre of boy's literature, in the same basic line of the older Tom Swift books. These books involve all kinds of adventures that boys would be interested in.

But how do you like the title, giving away the whole ending. For all I knew, the hero would try his best and be killed. Fat chance. The subtitle is "A Story of the Daring Exploits of the 'G' Men."

Agent Nine starts out as mere Bob Houston, youthful clerk in the archives division of the War Department. He works in Washington, D.C., and his uncle — Merritt Hughes — is an agent, I believe, for the Justice Department. It's almost the FBI without using that name. The head of the department is a guy named Waldo EDGAR and some of his mannerisms are said in such a way that it sounds like the author is trying to allude to someone else.

Among the other characters are Tully Ross, who is the Anti-Bob-Houston, same department; and he has a corollary uncle, Condon Adams, who is the Anti-Merritt-Hughes. I say "anti," although neither one is actually a BAD guy. But if there's any sneering, undercutting, goofing off, callousness, or screwing up, it's likely to be Tully or Condon doing it. But Bob and Merritt are entirely straight-shooters. Bob does get angry and lashes out, but it's at Tully or Condon, whose ways, while commended and more or less successful, are not quite as straight.

The plot involves radio secrets, some radio progress the government has come up with that nefarious powers want to get their greedy little hands on. There are two copies of this particular document, a one page document. One shows up at the archives department where it needs to be filed in a cabinet and kept. That's Bob's department. Tully is there in the mix, but he's not supposed to be in this particular filing cabinet, which he is, slightly.

The paper disappears in a scary section, in which Bob is trapped in a long office with a sinister figure in the dark. This section is completely unbelievable, unbelievably bad. There's simply no way it could ever have happened that it would be so dark, so long an office, that Bob and this sinister figure could be crawling around, guns blazing, hiding behind desks, between cabinets, etc., etc., without the sinister figure eventually being able to get Bob. But Bob is not a wilting violet in all this; he can and does fight back.

We progress then to searching for the lost document, and this involves some near scrapes for Bob, who after several adventures is promoted (with Tully) to a grade just below actual agent. Now he needs to really bear down and find out what's going on. Merritt and he are in a shoot-out, a pretty good scene down a torn-up road, with a shot-out hulk of a cab and the nefarious force's big old car. But Merritt is suddenly gone, and now it's up to Bob to find him, find the paper, and bring the story to a conclusion. Condon is responsible for one of the nefarious guys getting away. Tully is acting kind of surly, without ever crossing into bad guy territory.

Through a series of clues and good breaks, also by virtue of his straight, winning ways, Bob comes up with some of the answers. It's still nip and tuck all the way, and the clues aren't automatic. The agency needs to work to get them. Bob has the good sense to tell any hesitant contact that he is a Federal Agent, and they then bow to his authority.

At the end, as the title suggests, the case is solved. The last sentence promises the reader more great adventures in "Agent Nine and the Jewel Mystery."