McCain Goes to Buy Coffee

The man likes to live high on the hog.

Yesterday we found out that ultrarich John McCain has a home in every state and most foreign countries -- still working on a little villa in Georgia -- and today we hear that it takes a nine car motorcade for him to go to Starbucks! That last point is serious. When he goes out for coffee, he really goes out for coffee!

McCain, who huddled with advisors at his desert compound in Sedona, Ariz., said nothing in public. A nine-car motorcade took him to a nearby Starbucks early in the morning, where he ordered a large cappuccino. McCain otherwise avoided reporters.

So what would that be, like a $5,000 cup of coffee? A better way might be just stay wherever you presently are -- no doubt at one of your homes -- and send someone out for coffee. Then your cost is brought down to whatever a cappuccino costs at Starbucks, under 10 bucks.

Gotta Run -- Make Coffee

I have about five minutes. Gotta run, make coffee, get cracking on my day.

I want to recommend a coffee maker, if you like coffee. I'm hooked on it as the best coffee, but I can drink whatever anyone has. It's just never as good.

French press coffee making. You can get them at any kitchen place, or coffee place. You grind the coffee, and the coffee is right in the water, swirling around. Then you press down the metal filter with a handle and all the grounds go to the bottom.

Of course your coffee can be any strength -- depending on how much you put in -- but I like it really dark, really strong, fresh ground. Umm, puts hair on your chest. You're an albino, and you've suddenly got this dark, coarse, Russian hair all over your body. Me, like in one of the Bonzo Dog Band's songs, I'm currently two separate gorillas.

So my time is nearly up. Coffee awaits, dog needs to be taken out, cats fed, exercises done, Three Stooges watched, shower taken. All in the next less-than-one hour!