The Minute You Walked In The Room

All of us like the old song that says, "The minute you walked in the room I could tell you were a man of distinction." What is that called anyway? "Hey Big Spender"?

I seem to remember it being a song that was used in a commercial for a brand of cigars, maybe White Owl. But who was the singer? Was it Joey Heatherton? Or Edie Adams? Seems like it was Edie Adams. I can't remember for sure, but it seems like she had hair kind of like an owl. No offense intended.

I like to think that when I walk into the room people think I'm a man of distinction, even if I'm not smoking. I went into a store the other day, a store that I think, after thinking about it, is probably meant for the smoking of illegal stuff. But they have little signs that say that's not so. My own suspicion is that the signs are a -- wink, wink -- disclaimer for legal purposes. I looked at all the pipes and asked what all this was. The friendly lady waiting on me said they were for tobacco. I didn't stay around, because I said I don't smoke. Really, how big of an idiot do you have to be to be a smoker these days?

Still, like the song says, you can be a man of distinction. Not that I really think I am. Usually when I walk into a room, no one notices. At least the lady at the tobacco place saw me standing there!