The Expiration Date Of Pizzas

I have one of the biggest pizza boxes possible in my fridge. There was no good place to put it so it's up over everything else, on top of the milk, the juice, etc. It's not even a shelf, the stuff below it is the shelf!

That makes it "real handy" for getting other things out. Not to mention it's also like an eclipse in there, since the box comes between the fridge light and everything else. It's like the big V spaceship hovering over the city.

Leading me to wonder, Why does pizza go bad so fast? It's been a couple days since we got it, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to eat it at this point. But it was so wedged in there that I decided to leave it until I have more time to wrestle it out.

Still, two days and pizza's already a senior citizen. One day old it's applying for Social Security. At this point we're just offering it comfort measures until it's finally put down.

Further leading me to wonder, How long have you got to complain about a bad pizza at a restaurant? Wouldn't it be strange if you rang up the pizza place and said you had a complaint. "I have a complaint about a pizza I got." "Yes?" "It was 1978, and as I recall it was a little on the cold side before you got it to our table." "Uh, sir, this is 2010." And you can see how it'd go from there. They'd think you were crazy.

They'd probably hang up on you, but if they gave the complaint the seriousness it deserved, I think they'd still offer you something, a coupon good for 50% off another pizza. Just check the expiration date, that they didn't write in there "1980."

Old Friends

With Facebook, I'm in something of a daily questioning mode with what to do with old friends.

I guess Facebook is pretty good for that, at least for getting reacquainted with them. And you don't really have to go at it full time, like trying to push a current friendship instead of just talking over old times. There really isn't much talking over old times (or anything), just quick comments.

If we post old photos, which I think is cool, we think about how it was "back in the day." And that's good. But that doesn't especially lead anywhere. Not that leading somewhere is the be all and end all of life. Just being there and being yourself is probably all that's called for.

I contacted an old friend the other day, and we've had a couple exchanges back and forth. I could see us actually being friends again. But there'd have to be some basis for it beyond old times. And I don't know what that could be.

It's a quandary, one I've probably mentioned before.

An App That Recognizes You

Here's one!



So if you see someone aiming a phone at you and going through all the other motions, don't do anything. Because by then it's too late.

That's be a good one for church. You have a phone rigged over the door. Some stranger comes in, you call them by name, and they think it was divine revelation.

Or a bar. Like one "where everyone knows your name." Maybe they didn't know it five minutes ago, but they know it now that you're here.

Rep. Steve King Empathizes With Suicide Pilot

Wacko Congressman Steve King (Republican, of course) from Iowa, said he "empathizes" with the suicide pilot who took his plane into the IRS building in Texas and killed people.

To which we might ask, Are there really no limits for these despicable people anymore?

What happened to upholding the rule of law, encouraging the keeping of basic civic norms? Is the new norm for the Republican party simply to out-wacko the next guy?

Going further, Rep. King reportedly called on his listeners (at the CPAC meeting) to "implode" other IRS offices, whatever that means.

I assume he is aware that the tax system is part of the federal government, the same federal government that he is part of, and that it is staffed by actual human beings, who have families, feelings, and all the rest. It seems to me that their deaths and injuries would also be important, being American citizens. But, hey, that's just me.

When you're an actual Congressman, shouldn't you at least have a lick of sense?

The Longest 10 Minutes On Record

I'm in the process of attempting to make sure my XM radio account is canceled.

They can't make it easy. You need to dangle your loyal customers over a few hungry crocodiles for an hour or so before they can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your status has been changed.

Enter this graphic:

Notice how long "certain features will be inaccessible." It looks like it says "for the next 10 minutes." Yes, by Joe, that's what it says. "The next 10 minutes."

The trouble is it also said that an hour ago. So ... go figure. To them 10 minutes is an hour. Which must mean my 5 year subscription is actually 30 years. There's 6 10's in an hour, so 6 times 5 being 30, I'll be listening to XM radio after I'm dead.

I have a feeling customer service isn't their specialty!

Dick Cheney's In The Hospital

Dick Cheney's in the hospital again. It's always interesting whenever one of these cretins takes sick, the kind of comments that people make on Twitter or in the comments column.

One, since he is indeed a worthless cretin, they're often trying to hew a middle path of hoping he gets better while allowing that he really is no good. Like your hope that someone gets better is not dependent upon the person being any good.

When it comes to this stuff, wishing someone gets better, it seems to me that it's basically a waste of time. I do it myself, though, like with friends, because friends know you, your thoughts matter to them. When Dick Cheney gets sick, it's pointless (in my opinion) to be wishing much in his direction, because he's not going to notice or appreciate it anyway.

Let's put it this way, he doesn't wish me anything when I get sick. Not that I get sick that often, but sometimes I don't feel well. I've never heard from Dick Cheney, or any other high muckety muck for that matter.

Do I wish Dick Cheney well? My wishes have nothing to do with it. Eventually everyone's going to die. It could be his time. Or maybe five years from now. Or maybe 10 years from now. Sometime in the next 100 years, one has to assume, he's going to meet his maker, good wishes or not.

I'll Never Subscribe To XM/Sirius Radio Again

Never, never, never.

Because of their cancellation process. What a terrible experience.

I've been an XM Radio subscriber for five years or more. But when I called to cancel it was like I was dirt under their feet.

You get one person, who wants your account number, name, address, and email address. OK, fine. Now I want to cancel. OK, instead of canceling your subscription, I need to transfer you to someone else. Then the next person wants your account number, name, address, and email address, and the reason you're calling. So if you're keeping track, this is two people who needed the same information. Meaning one of them is extraneous.

The second person is the one they've got there to talk you out of it. Why are you canceling? Is there anything we could do to keep this radio hooked up? We have a special that is so many months for this amount. From there it went downhill. I'm usually the nicest person in the world, but when a rude phone person comes on acting like it's a personal issue for them whether I'm using my radio, when I want the cancellation to take place, etc., I take exception.

In my case, I stated when I wanted the cancellation to take place, i.e., at the end of my subscription. Sound reasonable enough, right? The customer's always right. The customer's paid, he ought to have his account end when he wants it to end. No, that would be a mistake. The phone person knows best! And she's there to argue the point, inexplicably.

Really, why piss off your customers? Is this really that great for business, to leave a bad taste in your customers' mouth? Bleahhh!

Finally, I guess I got the phone person to realize that I'm the guy with the account, that I ought to be able to say what I want and what I'm paying for. But she definitely wasn't happy with it!

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" I asked for her supervisor, telling her she was very rude. But I couldn't talk to the supervisor because the supervisor's on the phone. (Yeah, likely story). I said I'd hold, but she said I couldn't hold because this phone call is ending ... right ... now ...

Looking on the internet, I see that others have had perhaps worse experiences than I. I don't know 100% that my subscription actually is canceled. But I guess I'll have to check back and hope I get a nicer person.

One thing I know for certain -- 100% -- is that if this is the way XM/Sirius handles "Listener Care," that they've lost at least one listener forever. No more. I don't recommend XM/Sirius for anyone. Listen to your iPod instead.

The service sucked after they merged anyway. They took away the channels I liked and added a bunch of garbage channels in their place. But it was a lot of fun at first. We enjoyed it at first.

(They said they might record the call for "quality assurances" or something. I hope they did. Listen to it. If that's the way you treat customers, don't be surprised when they don't come around again. Idiots.)

A Very Romantic Story

Here's an interesting news item I found today, randomly searching a newspaper from 1895:

Darling Is Willing.
MILLER, S. D., June 1.—Rev. E. S.
Darling's attorneys, Ensall & Hawthorne,
from St. Paul, are still here in
their client's interest. Ensall says
Darling will gladly marry Miss Falting,
under certain conditions, but such
proposition has not yet been accepted
by her, though she may finally consent
to it.

That's from the Waterloo Daily Courier, Waterloo, Iowa, June 1, 1895, p. 4.

Very romantic stuff there! It's bad enough that they were haggling it out. But that it would also be printed in the newspaper, to me that's strange.

How Many Trains Going By Would It Takes?

When I hear a train going by sometimes I start thinking about the damage that sound can do. This includes issues such as how many times does it take for the train to go by before it hurts anything?

But say you live somewhere where six or seven trains go by in a day. And you live fairly close. It seems like they'd be slowly shaking things off your shelf. It seems like I saw that one, a thing on a shelf jiggling with the vibrations and rumblings of the train.

Even more important would be the beams in your house or the foundation. You see some houses that are deteriorating -- going the way of all flesh. Or cracks form in the walls of your house or building. Some of it could just be the natural kinds of things, settlings, molecular rotting, things falling apart. But it seems to me that some of it could be caused and exacerbated by trains going by.

Figure it like this, a train going by one time wouldn't hurt too much. But the damage would be so incremental as to be unnoticeable. Like if you had six or seven trains a day multiplied by many years, 50-70 years, multiply it, that's a lot of trains!

If you can physically hear their whistles and rumbles with your ears, that's a vibration that your house is also "sensing." Things are moving, things are in motion, whether you know or realize it.

Guys Who Remove Snow From Roofs

Here's a tough job for you, anyone who has the business of removing snow from roofs.

Everything's against them. Like this, you haven't called them unless it's bad up there, deep, icy, crazy. Anything less, like with a normal year, you don't even think of it. Then it's cold out, of course. Then the snow and ice, all that, is very heavy. Because it's been up there for a while, getting whatever warmth a warm day gives, then going cold and frozen again.

Add to all that that it's up on a roof. So they have to tie cables to trees and around themselves in case they might slip and fall off.

One other thing. If it's bad enough for one person to get their roof cleaned, it's bad for everyone. And that means they have many appointments. So they have to work to all hours so they'll be free tomorrow for someone else.

The guy on TV who does the "Dirty Jobs" ought to try snow removal from roofs!

Moondance

The song and album, "Moondance" by Van Morrison is perpetually refreshing and nice.

I was just shuffling songs on iTunes in my library and they were like "yuck, yuck, yuck," skipping each one till it popped on "Moondance." It's good for any mood, and very soothing. Something I can listen to

I used to live somewhere (Iowa City) where a guy had a nightly program on the radio, and his program was called "Moondance," so he played this song at the opening, as the theme song each night. That might be overkill, since as I recall it was the whole song each time.

Hearing it, it's hard not to think back to that show. But I have other associations with the album over the years. The same good vibe always seems to be there.

I need a good vibe, so I hope this does it. Before I get an ulcer.

A Political Rant, Perhaps

I have enough on my mind tonight without launching into a full blown political rant.

Yes, I look at the news, at least superficially, the headlines. I see the whole thing about the Republicans and their constant obstructionism and rooting for the country's failure. It's dismal, they're dismal, scumbags.

Then on the other hand we have the Democrats, who for some reason get together and mutually tie their hands behind their backs, then insist they can't get anything done. The public might be crying out for progress, for action, but they're oblivious to it.

The word of the year is "bipartisanship," which of course is a terrible joke. If the Republicans weren't engaged in helping to run the country in a non-election year, please don't tell me you seriously think they're going to suddenly switch now. If anything it would've been the other way around.

Bipartisanship is a stupid concept at this point. And anyone who thinks we're going to get more by wishing for more bipartisanship is going to have a big fat goose egg to look back on as to their achievements. The way to get something done is this: When you have the power, get something done.

Republicans make me sick. But tying your hands behind your back and saying you can't get anything done without them also makes me sick. Just get something done. And give us a good reason to respect you.

The Birds, The Bees & The Monkees

 

I got my copy of "The Birds, The Bees & The Monkees" today. I was very nervous that I might not receive it, because Rhino's ordering process wasn't the best. At last check at their site, you could at least see you ordered it. But before that, for quite a while, it just said, "AAARGH! We ran into a technical issue that prevented us from loading the page you requested." Just last night it said that. And probably still today. But I don't need to check again, because I got it!

Fortunately they make better albums than they do websites. It came and it's a beautiful set. This is a very good reason for everyone to keep the CD around. You don't get a digital download with the terrific stuff they have in the way of packaging and extras.

One of the extras is the 45 rpm record pictured, acoustic versions of a couple of songs. Apparently there are enough takes of "Lady's Baby" that everyone in the world can have his own, so I might claim this one for myself. It's a nice acoustic version, called "Alternate Acoustic Version." I do like the one with the little kid though. "St. Matthew" sounds like a demo version of this Mike song. In terms of putting songs out on 45, these two of course would've never made it originally, but they make a nice collectible these days. They are on Rhino, PR7 522250. Both were previously unissued. "St. Matthew" is marked side 1 and the other side 2. Both are "produced by The Monkees," the (meaningless) credit line they insisted on at that time.

There's a bunch of information in the accompanying booklet. I went through some of it but still haven't read most of it. It's a lot of insider information about who wrote things and who really wrote them, who played on the tracks, etc. Whether there's still anything left to discover after the five deluxe issues out plus Andrew Sandoval's great book, I don't know. There's an amazing amount of detail out there about the tracks. A lot more than years ago when they left it all to your imagination.

For example, I never knew Keith Allison had anything to do with any of the tracks. I read in the booklet that he was involved in "Auntie's Municipal Court," I believe co-writing it and playing on it. Or that Mike called Micky who was somewhere up in the mountains and he came down to sing the song and they finished it up just like that. The way I always pictured it as a kid was a lot more orderly. They were standing there doing the songs, no calling up to the mountains!

The package comes with three discs. First is the original stereo album plus a bunch of extras, alternate tracks, different mixes, etc. Second is the original mono album, again with a bunch of extras. I listened to it first since I'd never heard the mono album. It was more rare. I don't know if we had an option of getting it where I got records in 1968. I wasn't so discerning at the time. I was just lucky to get anything.

The third disc is called "The Birds, The Bees & The Rarities." The only I heard on it so far is the "Monkees Adult Stereo 8 Spot," an advertisement for the Monkees albums on 8 track tape. Davy is heard commending the 8 track tape as like being right in the studio, how well you can hear the instruments. The 8 track tape is greatly ridiculed now, but he's kind of right, when I heard 8 track tapes the first time they sounded as nice as anything. I never heard them sound as great as they did that first time. But they did sound very good when they were brand new on a brand new player.

The box is bigger than a CD box. What you see in the picture is its true dimensions. And thicker, probably slightly over an inch. It has a "lenticular" version of the main cover graphic, which is one of those 3D things that you can move back and forth. That's cool. How they managed that I don't know. Unless it'd be from multiple images of the original cover artwork taken from slightly different angles. Or maybe a computer can do that separation, although I've never heard of it.

Inside are the three CD sleeves, cardboard, the booklet, a button relating to the album ("Tell somebody you love about The Birds, The Bees, and The Monkees"), a facsimile of an advertisement for the record and 8 track tape, plus one of the inner sleeves they used to have with Colgems LP releases, advertising the first five Monkee LPs. I always wondered why the first album and "Headquarters" were designated "Special," so that's a detail I'd like to know about.

A great looking (and sounding) set.

Crusty Renaissance Man

I've had this snippet of an article on my bulletin board for a few years. This is scanned off a photocopy of it, since the original was in a scrapbook I used to keep quite a few years ago, in the '80s.

I looked Millard Gilbertson up on the internet since I didn't have the article dated. He died in 1986.

Also, I didn't keep the rest of the article, just this little piece, so it's hard to see everything in context. But I guess I just wanted this little piece for the cautionary tale it told. Which is, Beware how you live, because when you die, maybe everything they say about you won't be good.

Hanson, whoever Hanson was, didn't do Millard Gilbertson's memory any good, that's for sure! Hanson never saw Gilbertson any other way but grouchy. Right there you know this has to be good!

Then, quoting Hanson, "If he liked you, Millard would do anything for you. If he didn't like someone, he wouldn't talk to them. There were many of those. It didn't take much of anything to make him mad. If someone crossed him, they never would get back on his good side."

Thanks a lot, Hanson!

The snippet, by the way, is from the Des Moines Register. And I don't have access to the rest of the article.

But, like I said, looking online, I found Millard passed away in 1986, so it's probably not too early to post this on the website. After all, his reputation has already been blared publicly in the Des Moines Register way back when.

As to part of Millard Gilbertson's actual obituary, taken from The Elgin Echo, Elgin, Iowa, April 2, 1986, p. 2:

Millard Arthur Gilbertson was born August 29, 1909, at rural Elgin, to Halvor and Berthina (Ruroden) Gilbertson. He lived and farmed all of his life in the Elgin area. He graduated from Elgin High School, and was baptized and confirmed at East Clermont Lutheran Church.

Millard enjoyed outside activities. He was very active on the Fayette County Conservation Board, and was an honorary member of the Elgin Historical Society.

Millard died Tuesday, March 25, 1986 at his home at the age of 76 years.

That's all great, but I like the unvarnished truth the way Hanson remembered it.