Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Expiration Date Of Pizzas

I have one of the biggest pizza boxes possible in my fridge. There was no good place to put it so it's up over everything else, on top of the milk, the juice, etc. It's not even a shelf, the stuff below it is the shelf!

That makes it "real handy" for getting other things out. Not to mention it's also like an eclipse in there, since the box comes between the fridge light and everything else. It's like the big V spaceship hovering over the city.

Leading me to wonder, Why does pizza go bad so fast? It's been a couple days since we got it, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to eat it at this point. But it was so wedged in there that I decided to leave it until I have more time to wrestle it out.

Still, two days and pizza's already a senior citizen. One day old it's applying for Social Security. At this point we're just offering it comfort measures until it's finally put down.

Further leading me to wonder, How long have you got to complain about a bad pizza at a restaurant? Wouldn't it be strange if you rang up the pizza place and said you had a complaint. "I have a complaint about a pizza I got." "Yes?" "It was 1978, and as I recall it was a little on the cold side before you got it to our table." "Uh, sir, this is 2010." And you can see how it'd go from there. They'd think you were crazy.

They'd probably hang up on you, but if they gave the complaint the seriousness it deserved, I think they'd still offer you something, a coupon good for 50% off another pizza. Just check the expiration date, that they didn't write in there "1980."

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