Egypt and Fox

Here's why we're having so much trouble with the Iraq war. We're not even in the right place! Clearly we've invaded Egypt, land of the Pharaohs. Home of the great breakfast cereal, Phar-O's.

I'm not really that great at geography either. I can pick out the North Pole and the South Pole in a reasonably consistent manner. If you turn the globe upside down, though, I get confused. And I can also find my own hometown, which, unfortunately they never have on the globe.

By the way, that's what I hate about globes. They don't strive for accuracy, which is obvious because they leave off so many towns. According to the globe people there are about 10 cities in the entire United States. And I know that's wrong because I personally can name at least 20.

A great catchphrase -- like "They're Grrrreat" -- for the breakfast cereal of Egypt would be: Phar-O's! They're Phar-Out!"