War Is Over! Bush Back to Golf!

You'll recall when we last left our beloved leader, he had deleted one of his favorite outdoor sports from his activities. No, it wasn't Synchronized Brush Clearing, it was golf! Bicycling was still OK, boating was OK, fishing OK -- in fact everything was OK, except golf.

[Cue moment of silence ... everyone look down ... hands on heart ... you too, Barack, please ... this is a tender, touching tribute ... thank you very much.]

President Bush gave up golf, you see, because he didn't think it seemed exactly appropriate for him to be playing golf as long as the war in Iraq was going on. Let's let him explain:

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf," he said. "I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal."

Thank you, sir, that was a great sacrifice. You deserve one less kick in the pants for this selfless act, which does go quite a ways toward mitigating all the international damage you've done. Yes, truly, it is good. We admire you for your very gracious gesture.

But, now, what's this? Monday -- you've got to be kidding me -- former President George H.W. Bush and Barbara Bush will host a fundraiser for John McCain. For $5,000 those who are invited can play a round of golf at Bush's home course. "Both President Bush and Governor Jeb Bush will be stopping by to greet the foursomes."

It doesn't actually say President Bush will be playing golf, I guess. But I prefer my sacrifices straight, not diluted. Meaning, I don't want to see him anywhere near a golf course, or hosting golfing outings, or greeting people on the greens. Let's have a sacrifice now! Anyway, McCain doesn't need money. He's going to win this thing by acclaim!

Is the war over? If not, we need the commander-in-chief to stay away, far away from golf!