Swirling The Drain?

I haven't caught the news today especially. Are the Republicans still swirling the drain? I hope so, although I'd like to have a slightly wider drain installed so they would go down it once and for all.

I see the contest in Minnesota is still being delayed, stretched out by that champion of democracy, Norm Coleman. Now he apparently wishes that the election could be nullified, then presumably the voters would get another chance to reject him. He's come a long way from wringing his hands the day after the election that the voters' precious tax dollars would be wasted by prolonging the contest, that is, when Al Franken appeared to be behind.

It looks like Coleman doesn't care about the precious tax dollars now, or anything, except prolonging the inevitable to simply cause mischief with the Senate. This is a guy we definitely need a wider drain for, and plenty of Liquid Plumbr to rinse down after him to make sure he's gone for good.

That's all I know today. So if The Party Of No has carried on with any of their usual idiotic shenanigans, I either don't know about it or don't remember.

I did see an interesting article somewhere early this morning about the Club For Growth. I haven't paid attention to this. But they seem to be an advocacy group for stricter conservative toeing of the line in the party, leading to some insults and hard feelings among the remaining five or six moderate Republicans still in the party. Some of the Republican senators, as I recall, wishes the Club For Growth would target Democrats more.

No, no, that wouldn't work. Keep eating your own. We'll let the Democrats in this scenario be the two little goats in the Billy Goats Gruff story. And when the trollish Club For Growth comes out from under the bridge, we can say, "We're so small and scrawny. Wait for my bigger brother. He makes a much better meal." Of course our Big Brother, from the Bush years, you see, represents the Republicans.

Oh, in the story the third brother butts the troll off the bridge. But in this case we want the troll to eat the Big Brother, then feel regret and dive to his own death, landing in a flaming heap at the bottom of a very sharp rocked ravine.

Or to keep with my original image, we will widen the drain for them as well, put after them about 10 gallons of Drano, and they'll be gone. No fuss, no muss.

President Obama's 100th Day

Wow, time really flies when you have a competent president!

I don't know what all President Obama has done in his 100 days. I've been halfway paying attention and halfway not. Most of the things I've heard have sounded good, appropriate, and decent.

The biggest thing he's done is to replace that stinking George W. Bush. Every day is a day to celebrate that Bush's criminal administration has finally gone down the toilet where it belongs. I just pity the poor guys at the sewage plant who have to process that crap. Because it's a bunch and it's rancid.

That Obama is our man in the White House is still like something too good to be true. But I've pinched myself red and by golly, he's still there as big as life!

Long live President Obama! By the way, he's already got my vote in 2012!

Arlen The Democrat

I've never cared much for Arlen Specter over the years. But this is his day. He could do worse things than become a Democrat. I just hope he's still a Democrat tomorrow.

What I always think of when I think of him is someone who acts like he's going to stand up for what's right, then something happens and he backs down. Very shifting. Becoming a Democrat, as much as I like the move, is really the same basic thing. He's a Republican, then he's not.

Welcome to the party. But please try to have some actual Democratic sensibilities. I think it's pretty obvious he made the switch because he was likely to lose the next election. Self-preservation is wonderful, just not always something to celebrate in and of itself.

The Nation Of Texas Looks For Foreign Aid

President Rick Perry of Texas, who recently seceded from the Union, knowing they could do better on their own without the oppressive hand of the United States government, is requesting foreign aid from the United States to help with the swine flu pandemic.

He said, "We will continue to work with our local, state and federal health officials to ensure public safety is protected." What state? What federal? You wanted to be on your own. What better time than a full blown crisis to show what you can do on your own?

It's reported that half the Republicans in Texas want to secede from the United States. How interesting to see them crawling back now.

Pork And Bans

This is terrible. Now there's bans on pork products, all because of the swine flu outbreaks that have happened.

Mutual Of Omaha Vs. Oprah

The Mutual of Omaha company owns the phrase "an aha moment." And took legal action against Oprah for using it on her show.

Isn't that a phrase we've been saying for years? I really don't know. It's not one I use, that I can recall; I'm not saying I never have and I'm not saying I ever will. I don't want to be sued for everyday talking.

Oops, I hope there's nothing in that last paragraph that someone has copyrighted, except me by virtue of writing it here. It's just "Everyday Talking." Someone probably owns that phrase, and look, I used it unknowingly. Hope it's not Mutual of Omaha, since it looks like they don't take kindly to people saying things, ordinary words.

Maybe the rock group "Aha" ought to sue Mutual of Omaha. But they might send Marlin Perkins out to subdue them with a tranquilizer dart. And carry them in from the savanna.

Republicans Wanted To Investigate Clinton

To say Republicans wanted to investigate Clinton is to state a truism. Can you remember a single thing the Republicans did in the Clinton years but investigate Clinton? They did nothing else.

But then even after his presidency they wanted to have an investigation into the Marc Rich pardon and who knows what all else? Remember they wasted eight years and some $40 million investigating some small potatoes land deal he and Hillary were involved in.

Now, though, of course, they think investigations of past administrations, such as the obvious crimes of the Bush administration, are a no no, something that must not be done lest there be the slightest hint of partisanship.

Bah. The Republicans must know by now where they can shove their constant carping.

They allowed and covered up for actual, full blown crimes in the Bush years. These things need to be checked into, and anyone found guilty must be held accountable.

Torture

I'm amazed at the Republicans justifying torture now, after all those years telling us, "America does not torture." It turns out now, Yes, we do, and God bless us. They were more than happy to lie about it at the time and now more than happy to admit it, although of course with a justification. Then, it was a matter of getting away with it. Now, they can claim they "kept us safe."

Bah. I'm thinking of the phrase, "Not in my name." This is not one of those things where the ends justify the means. This is a nasty little something called Crimes Against Humanity. At some point we need to realize our "exceptionalism" isn't so exceptional; it's the same old crimes.

When you don't have any good ethical standard, there's no reason for anyone to follow the law. When we're in war, there's no reason whatsoever for our enemies to refrain from torturing us, if we approve it for them. We were complaining when the Iraqi guys were lopping off heads there for a while. What right did we have to complain? After all, our standard is this, whatever it takes in the moment that you perceive might do you some good now or in the time to come is allowed. Those guys cutting off heads could justify it, too, on those nebulous grounds.

The way I've always thought of America -- and I guess this would be where the "exceptionalism" comes in -- is that we're exceptionally good. We don't do what terrorists do. We don't do what Nazis do. We have standards. We follow the law. We're the guys in the white hats. But George W. Bush's administration followed a different standard. Like devils. And that's what the Republicans are still standing up for.

Republicans Not Hurting Obama

It was great to read an article today at Politico about how all the Republican sniping at President Obama isn't really affecting him that much. He remains popular and they remain dismally unpopular.

Now we have all the crud coming out about the torturous years of the Bush administration (unfortunately in more senses of the word than the fact that we suffered him). They literally tortured people, repeatedly, and in the worst possible way. The Bush administration was populated by out and out criminals. So that can't help the Republicans' reputation any, since they're still rah-rah'ing Bush for "keeping us safe."

I saw a video of someone who was doing some of this rah-rah'ing. And David Sirota was the antagonist against her. She wouldn't answer the question, "Did Bush keep us safe on 9/11?" David asked it repeatedly. It was hilarious, although maddening. He kept us safe, she said, for "nine years." Since his presidency was only eight years, I guess he got a running start sometime in 1999. It's like saying my doctor's an excellent doctor, except that one day when he accidentally cut off my legs.

Her big excuse for 9/11 was mind blowing, that Bush had only been president for a few months, therefore it wasn't any responsibility of his. Which, think about it, brings up the question, Why are the Republicans continually dumping on Obama? Since he's only been president a few months. Actually by 9/11 Bush was president close to eight months. So that means Obama should have around another five months without Republican opposition, because he's not really responsible yet.

Ha! Can you imagine the Republicans' response if 9/11 happened on Obama's watch? Not eight months in, but now, or back on January 21. They'd have his hide! I mean look at what they do now. If he wears brown shoes, they should've been black. They were literally criticizing him for his clothes, whether he wears a jacket in the Oval Office. Sheesh. Or Michelle, no sleeves.

It's good to know that these pests, the Republicans, aren't doing any serious damage.

And by the way, their recent carping about Obama shaking Hugo Chavez' hand ... I'm more upset when he shakes the Republicans' hands. The ones in Congress and the media are out and out treasonous.

Cheney - Blah II

Someone wrote at Daily Kos that any time Cheney talks that's a good thing for the Democrats, because he's such a hated guy. As long as we have a true war criminal (and a scumbag to boot) as one of the official voices for the Republican party, that makes them look bad and that's good for us.

So I guess I can hold my nose and say, "Speak, Dick, speak!"

We all remember that Cheney was always truth-challenged. But now he said he formally asked the CIA to release certain documents and the CIA says he didn't. He must be remembering the old days when he simply did it himself. Wow, how do we get these truly disgusting people in our government? We need to do background checks on these people. Basically if you want the job, you're suspect.

The Republicans have a sorry lot speaking up for them these days. Glen Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Bobby Jindal, Cheney, Karl Rove. Speak, boys, speak! None of them is any good ... and people know it.

Cheney - Blah!

You remember Cheney, the ex-vice president and current scumbag extraordinaire? The guy's out of office but that doesn't stop him from doing his level best to muck up the world some more. Of course he doesn't have a shred of dignity, but with his post vice-presidency he's delving into minus points territory.

When he was veep, we had no idea where the idiot was. Now that he's out of office, he's up with the morning sun and basically blocking our view. His dark shadow dims every day. And what's he got to say for himself? Nothing much for himself. But he keeps close tabs on President Obama, and guess what, he doesn't like anything Obama does. That's kind of weird for a guy who ran a warmongering, criminal enterprise while he was in office. It seems like someone like that would at least have enough self-interest to keep his yap shut now.

I'd keep my yap shut if I were him, because of course Obama has enough goods on Cheney to lock him away for life, however short that may be, since he about keeled over from heart troubles 10 years ago. Sheesh.

OK, what terrible thing has Obama done now? Pull Dick's string. Hear Dick speak. Speak, Dick, speak. On second thought, please spare us, moron.

Oh, OK, what's he got to say this time? He's criticizing Obama (yawn) for daring to shake the hand of Hugo Chavez. That's going to make us weak, going to make our enemies think we're pushovers, make .... oh, who cares?

After all, thanks to Cheney's idiotic policies while in office, we haven't got the luxury right this minute of going to war with everyone in the world. Maybe we need to give peace a chance, if that's OK with the war criminals. I say put Cheney on trial. Give him a fair trial. And when the guilty verdict comes in, let the penalty fit the crimes.

Then go after his underling, George W. Bush. He's probably just as guilty. Ignorance is no excuse, right?

Shut Up, Republican Moron

President Obama did the exact right thing in being a nice guy at this meeting of leaders from the western hemisphere. Including Hugo Chavez.

But you know who he probably shouldn't meet with, some of his Republican critics. Who basically spend everyday simply looking for something to nitpick. Here's our loser of the day:

Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev.) told CNN today that it was "irresponsible" for Obama to be seen "laughing and joking" with the Venezuelan president.

Good grief. You believe in gun rights, right? Shoot me now. This is getting ridiculous.

Yes, maybe Chavez isn't the world's greatest guy. But if we can't engage other people around the world without the Republicans nitpicking and scolding, please, what do these jackals think diplomacy is exactly? You don't need diplomacy only for your friends. In fact, it seems obvious you need it more for those who might not be your friends. Sheesh.

If Obama can be a nice guy, that's being diplomatic. What would Ensign (this jerk) want him to do, spit in Chavez' face?

Anyway, saying Chavez isn't the world's greatest guy isn't to say he's all bad. Remember, he did call George W. Bush "the devil" that one time. He was right on that score. Although it would've been helpful if he'd've added a few choice adjectives, like "George W. Bush is a low down, deceiving, skunk of a devil" or something colorful like that. Just to make it more accurate.

Sarah Palin Is Pro-Choice

From the Washington Post:

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin told an antiabortion audience in Indiana on Thursday night that, "for a fleeting moment," she considered having an abortion after learning that her son Trig would have Down syndrome.

The experience, she added, "now lets me understand a woman's, a girl's temptation to maybe try to make it all go away."

Instead she decided to "walk the walk," saying, "I had just enough faith to know that my trying to change the circumstances wasn't any answer."

Even if it's just for "a fleeting moment" and she decided to "walk the walk," that means Sarah Palin is pro-choice plain and simple.

Same Sex Marriage And The GOP

I see there's a guy -- what's his name? Schmidt or something. He worked for John McCain -- who thinks the GOP ought to embrace same-sex marriage and champion it no matter what religious groups say.

I've thought the same thing about the Republicans, that if they knew what they were doing they'd do this very thing. And some of the same reasons, this guy gives. Such as "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," you know, as inalienable rights. But especially from what I always heard growing up in a Republican household, that the government shouldn't be in your business all the time. That if it's something we could do on our own better than the government, then it's our business to do it, and this meant personal liberties, how to run your life, etc.

In a way I'm very liberal. And in a way I'm very conservative. I'm a Democrat because I think the Democrats are the actual conservatives, in the sense of conserving our liberties and way of life better. They make plenty of mistakes but they're more into conserving the Constitution and the social fabric of the nation. I'm definitely conservative on this point, that by and large what we do ought to be our business. Notice I said "by and large," because it's not "anything goes." We still need someone to say your freedom to punch your fist stops just before my nose.

It's funny that I grew up in a Republican household. I remember being gung ho, hoping Nixon would win in 1968. That's what the family wanted. But by 1972 I was for George McGovern.

Something my parents said several times, and not exactly apropos to this topic, was this, "Any government big enough to give you everything you want is also big enough to take it all away." Yeah, so what? The government is always going to be big enough to bull their way around if that's what they want to do. You notice they have a military? But I don't really need the government to give me everything I want. Because I can get out there and scrape for that. Just step back and leave well enough alone.

But I don't want poor people dying on the sidewalk. Or health care to be such a mess that people are bankrupt just because they get sick. Common sense government is best, apart from the special interests. George Bush had no idea about that, of course. President Obama has a lot better handle on it.

Threatening Secession

Hmm, I feel like I'm in some weird parallel universe. With the Republicans and other right wing wackos doing all these funky shenanigans, apparently because they've been out of power for around 100 days.

Isn't it strange? Didn't we have eight years of bluster about how America could do no wrong and lusty shouts of "USA! USA! USA!" virtually without end? And now that the Republicans are out of power, they want their states and districts to secede from the Union? Can this be happening?!

Weren't they the Super-Patriots of all time there for a while? And now could it be that they no longer love America enough to stay in it? Texas and Georgia both want to leave the Union and be their own separate countries? Good grief, in what completely absurd mindset does this even remotely seem like a good idea??

I read somewhere that Gov. Rick Perry might have ambitions for national office. What national office? To be president of the nation of Texas? How could he run for president of the United States, let's wonder, if he just openly advocated for secession from the Union? Wouldn't that put a damper on a guy's ability to seek the office and govern effectively if somehow -- God forbid -- he were elected?

I'm laughing ... but I'm also crying a little bit ... Is this what the Republicans are made of, seriously? They're so bummed out about being out of power for a little bit, so much so that they don't even want to be Americans anymore?

It's so absurd it's like performance art.

By the way, what is treason? And how is any of this different from treason?

Adam! Adam! Adam!

On American Idol, it's gotten to the point where it either needs to be Adam or no one. Seriously, the guy is so good, if he doesn't win I'll never watch the show again. What's the use?

I had to catch it on tape again last night -- too many meetings in my life. The upside of this is that I miss all the commercials and can speed through the other performances when they hit their boring stride. So as it turned out I didn't see any complete performance by any of the contestants except for Adam. I might have seen 90% of Allison's or maybe I saw the whole thing.

I like Allison even though I'm not hoping for an Allison win. If she came in second, that'd be great.

The others, though, whoa, what a load of rubbish. What boring song choices, what an old fogey vibe coming from each and every one of them. They'd put people in the nursing home to sleep, it's that bad. I can't sit and watch these pathetic performances.

At this point it's got to be Adam! All the way, him or no one!

Phil Spector

What a drag that Phil Spector had to go and kill someone. Now he's been found guilty of murder, and it sounds like he'll be in prison for a long time.

This is the end of a sad and tragic tale, said Mick Brown in the Telegraph. “In his heyday in the early ’60s, Spector produced some of the most exuberant and uplifting recordings ever heard in pop music.” But the “teenage genius” who briefly became “the most successful producer in rock and roll” was ultimately “overtaken by hubris and his own demons.”

So this is what we're supposed to think of now every time we hear something Phil Spector did? That's the big drag. I remember hearing that one of the guys from Motown, who I believe was on the song "Shotgun" among others, killed someone. So that's what I think of when I hear that song. But Phil Spector is a legend in every way, and had so many records.

Big ones too, the '60s groups, with great songs like "Be My Baby," a bunch of them. And John Lennon's "Plastic Ono Band" album and George Harrison's "All Things Must Pass" album.

Well, I guess the only way to look at it is that he did great work back then but went on to be somewhat crazed in later years. And really anybody could do the same thing, depending on how crazed we get.

Quite Disgusting (But Oddly Hilarious)

It's amazing, the Republican/conservative naysayers, who think America can't get the job done, who are rooting for the failure of America.

The video is the proof. They were "concerned" that President Obama wouldn't have the cajones to deal with the pirates with deadly force. He was held up to their juvenile ridicule. Even as he was authorizing a lethal move against these disgusting pirate kidnappers. And the Navy SEALS were rescuing the kidnapped captain. Who got out safely. Chew on that, Gingrich.

As it turned out, the naysayers were wrong. American can do it, so you traitors need to get out of the way.

The Pirate Guy Went Free

I prefer these kinds of stories in hindsight than having to endure all the nailbiting intensity along the way. Now that I hear how it turned out, that the captain of the ship went free and the pirates were killed (3 out of 4 ain't bad), I'm happy to hear about it.

I know pirates need to eat, too, but now three of them don't. Throw them overboard and let the sharks have them. And if the fourth one accidentally falls in, maybe pick a different line of work next time. I have sympathy for their families, if they have them. But it's like Jesus said, "Live by the cutlass, die by the cutlass."

It's better to have the seas free of this kind of stuff. Like they taught us in school, "Keep your hands off your neighbor's stuff." Or maybe it was, "Keep your eyes off your neighbor's paper." The key thing is that your neighbor's paper and stuff isn't your domain. You need to be centered on your own thing.

Of all the stories from the past, pirate stories were always among the coolest. Circus stories are the absolute coolest, but pirates were right up there. I didn't hear many of them but definitely liked the whole idea of burying and digging up buried treasure. I just don't like pirates in real life. But I do like circuses in real life.

Pirates Watch

I guess I don't understand the scope of the problem when it comes to pirates. I tend to think that we, the legitimate international community, have enough firepower and technology to annihilate ourselves if we wanted to, and therefore should be able to conquer anything else we set our mind to.

I'm looking at it like one of those police chases in California. The perp can run for a while but not indefinitely. Because there we are with helicopters and police cars and the ability to radio ahead. There's more of us than there are perps. If the tire puncture sticks don't get them we're eventually going to do a "pit maneuver" and pen them in. And even if we can't accomplish any of that, at some point he or she is going to run out of gas and it will be all over.

If I'm a pirate on the open seas and they want to get me, all is lost. That's my thought on the subject. I'm not going to be out there -- la la la la -- sailing, sailing over the bounding main. Probably this is where the hostages come in. Because they're going to be more reluctant to blow me to smithereens if there's hostages on board. But barring that, eventually as a pirate I'm going to lose.

So here's what we do ... at the first whiff of piracy ... and before there's hostages on board ... it's bye bye pirates.

Who's Most Likely To Be The Liar?

Hmmm, really tough choice.

Joe Biden recalls something he said to George W. Bush. Karl Rove comes out and calls Biden a liar.

Wow, if it comes down to the word of Karl Rove against Joe Biden, who O who would I believe? Let's put it this way, if Rove says the sky is blue I'm going out to check it for myself.

The one most likely to be a liar is the representative of the lyingest Administration ever, Karl Rove.

No Honorary Degree For Obama

President Obama is going to give the commencement address at Arizona State University, but he's "too inexperienced" to get an honorary degree, which they apparently normally give to their commencement speakers.

That's a laugh. The guy has more profound experience in life than anyone I can think of. You don't come from nowhere like he did and rise up through the ranks of society to be President of the United States without some kind of smarts. Notice I didn't say his daddy was president and he had the same name as his daddy. Obama was an average kid who worked very very hard.

But, hey, what good's an honorary degree anyway. It's not like he needs it to go places. But it seems like it would be good for Arizona State's reputation, if nothing else, to give him one. I'd think it be more to their credit than anything. What are they afraid of exactly. If anyone qualifies, he certainly must.

I wouldn't mind having a few honorary degrees. If anyone wants to confer some on me. I could be like the Scarecrow, if I had a "Doctor of Thinkology." I could look on the internet (aka The Information Superhighway) because there's surely someone who confers honorary degrees for a fee.

American Idol -- Late Edition

When in doubt, write about American Idol. It's the oldest standby in the world for someone with a slowing metabolism and slowing thoughts.

Although I should be thinking clearly and with good rapidity, having just worked out. My collar's sweaty; that ought to prove something. I was on on the treadmill for 1.17 miles, which feels pretty far. I put it on 15 minutes plus 3 minutes cool down each time and it always goes about that far. 4.1 mph. I was having a good time. Then I did some weights. I neglected the weights for a while and my arms feel sore now that I've been hitting them again. I guess I got back to it just in time. Then a few ab crunches and I hit the road for home.

Anyway, American Idol. I missed it last night -- I have some appointments I have to keep and it seems like they fall on Tuesday nights. But I watched it today on tape.

Some of the Am Id's aren't working hard enough. I'm looking right at you, Lil Rounds. Then you have those who are musically gifted but lack spark and star quality. I'm very bold to say that, seeing that I personally lack musical talent and spark and star quality. But I know it when I see it! And I'm not seeing it in you, Scott McIntyre. (That's his name, right?) Some of them I forget quickly, but today I was just thinking of the old name of Chickeasy. I wonder how he is.

Danny Gokey is doing a good job. But I am bored out of my mind at him personally. I just don't see any excitement there. Matt Giraud is pretty good. Kris Allen, eh. Allison, I like. She's second best. I'm forgetting someone, and it's not Adam. Someone else. Lil, Scott, Danny, Matt, Kris, Allison ... one other person ... then Adam Lambert. Adam Lambert is a killer contestant. He's the absolute best.

I don't see American Idol ever having another as exciting as Adam ever again. This is the season and they'll search high and low without ever finding anyone like him again. They've found the best. Now what?

Hey, I wish they'd quit saying the performances are available for downloading at iTunes. I go there and they're not available for a couple days. You can "pre-order" only. What's that all about?

I'm sure there was another contestant. Who?

The Beatles Remastered

How does this happen without someone periodically peeking his or her head out and saying how it's going? Like, "We're up to the 'Help' album and work is proceeding very nicely, thank you.'

Instead, there's complaints that the Beatles' albums aren't remastered and no one says, "Hold your horses."

Then we're going along, innocently minding our own business, and -- bam -- the news comes out that all the albums have been remastered, over a period of four years, and that they'll be for sale on one day in September 2009.

Wow. It's something like 12 normal albums, then the "Past Masters" CDs, that will be released that day. Plus they'll have all the albums that had mono releases released in mono at the same time.

These will no doubt be expensive packages. So ... start saving now.

Hef Turns 83 With Girlfriends Past And Present

How delusional.

How can it really be a pleasure to have these women around who wouldn't give you the time of day if you weren't a rich, well known lech? Excuse me, but there's something to be said for having people around who love you for you.

Easter Candy

This is the week that is so important to us all. The week when we get Easter candy and it feels right to eat it.

Most of the time, those white and light purple and light blue eggs don't appeal to me. The colors of Easter are so anemic looking, the light pastels, meant, I guess, to suggest babyhood and little bunnies. But leading up to Easter, what was so putrid looking just a few weeks ago, suddenly looks appropriate.

So there will be that bright grass, those bright plastic eggs that break apart at the equator, and all the rest. It's a great time for chocolate rabbits, but you have to be careful. Easter is also a time for fly by night, never-heard-of-them candy companies to ply their wares. You can tell their stuff. It has a very generic, cheap look. The chocolate tastes like some kind of funky off-chocolate flavor. If you read the small print you're afraid to eat it.

I'm definitely in a mood for candy. Another problem, though, with buying Easter candy, is the suspicions I have that they jack the price up for it. Whereas you can find just regular candy at the normal high price. I like to shop and compare, to see how many ounces it is, all the rest.

Easter candy brings up memories of childhood, that's for sure. Speaking of chocolate rabbits, that's always the thing I think of. The severe disappointment it was to bite into a chocolate rabbit and find it was hollow. Or the even more severe disappointment to find that your parents, I mean the Easter Bunny, bought you candy from one of these fly by night candy companies. That was such a downer. I'll have more to say about them!

One of the best candies, and I hardly ever see them, are those chocolate rabbits about five inches tall that have chocolate on the outside and chewy marshmallow stuff on the inside. Then there's Peeps, which don't excite me. Still, I guess they're good. I don't know.

OK, about these fly by night companies that you never hear of any other time. What? Are these people unemployed all year, then churn out the Easter candy around January till a couple weeks before Easter? I never cease to be amazed that there are so many candy companies that you never hear of and yet, presumably, are staffed by actual people on actual machines putting it out. Raise your standards, people! Your candy, by and large, sucks!

What To Do With Old Batteries

I've been going through batteries in a serious way ... since embarking on the unpleasant task of digitizing my life. This means taking my old papers, documents, and either scanning them (which is very slow) or photographing them (which is very fast). The quality on photographing them is of course not as good, but it's good enough. Some of this stuff is very trivial.

But my camera goes through batteries, a set of four, after around 350-380 photos. Then I not only need to change them, but when the old batteries go out I also need to reset my preferences on the camera because it all goes back to default. I've been thinking about the impact of throwing away the batteries.

Actually in my area they say they're crunching down the garbage and making it into energy of some sort, so maybe old batteries is exactly what they need. I'm pretty good at recycling things. For example, I'm recycling my old documents. After they're photographed they're shredded and taken away with the recycling.

I looked on the internet and there were some pointers for getting rid of batteries. I like one guy's suggestion, which is to do exactly what I'm doing, just throw them away. That's a great suggestion. I appreciate it anytime anyone takes the time to state the obvious option.

In my search I saw some other interesting things, such as how to dispose of cooking grease. And again, the obvious option seems like the best one, just throw it away in the garbage. It can be a mess if it starts leaking, but that's a small price to pay not to have a house full of grease containers stockpiled.

Boats And Pets

There was an interesting article the other day somewhere -- the NY Times, I believe -- about abandoned boats. These were fancy boats and somewhere where they have water, so I'm thinking it could be the ocean area to the east.

That's a problem I had never imagined could exist. It never occurred to me that someone would just abandon a boat. File off the identifying numbers and name and ditch it, whether by sinking it or just leaving it stranded on the bank.

There was something about them being too expensive to sell. Whatever. Sell it for 20 bucks to someone. At least you get 20 bucks and it's legal; it's someone else's problem at that point. Just because you're not going to get $100,000, it's still 20 bucks.

What a weird thing that is, because of the current economic crisis.

The other thing I saw -- and this one I don't remember anything about where it was -- was about pets being dropped off or given to shelters. Because they can't afford them again, I'm thinking. It has to happen, I suppose. Poor things.

I was thinking of the economy today when I needed to go buy pet food. A big sack of cat food (which lasts quite a while) for $12.44. Six 4 packs of wet cat food at $1.36 per pack. A box of wet dog food for $7.28. It adds up. But they give us love.

No One's Supposed To Touch The Queen

What a lonely old soul the Queen must be. No one is supposed to touch her.

But I guess I don't like people touching me overly much. Not that they do, of course. Shaking hands. Hardly anyone ever pats my back or squeezes my arm.

My dog jumps up in my lap. But if I were King, somehow we'd have to break her of that bad habit. The dog expects to be touched quite a bit. "Pet me!"

It'd be interesting to know how they ever got a rule about never touching the Queen. Look to the bee! They're swarming all over the Queen. I think ants do too. But bees and ants, what they know...

The Queen has a husband. Is his name Prince Phillip? I'm not good at royalty. I wonder if he can touch her. Poor guy. That'd be terrible to be married to a Queen if you weren't yourself a King. But they got Prince Charles, so he must have touched her at least once. Then he was reprimanded and that was it. I don't know if they have any other kids. None I've heard of.

And who does the Queen's hair. Whoever it is must touch her. What about her doctor? You can't get as old as she is without going to the doctor once in a while. He's like ... does it hurt here? Squeeze, squeeze.

Here comes the Queen! Everyone's hands up. Keep them in plain sight! Don't touch her!

The Queen is like, "Please, I need human contact! Forget for a minute I'm the Queen! Touch me! Please!" I guess Obama didn't get her an Ipod Touch.

Republican Lunatics

Watching the Republican lunatics on David Shuster's show (MSNBC) is an exercise best left to those not prone to bang their head against the wall in disbelief.

Some people who are either so craven they'll say absolutely anything, or are actually certifiable, decide to run for office, or become Republican strategists and apologists. It makes you wonder how so many actual nuts can persuade the people of their districts to elect them.

The Republicans presented their April Fool's budget today, which, according to the reports, is the same old same old, warmed over ideas that have already failed. Bush league stuff. They're pushing bills in Congress about protecting the American currency when it's not actually under attack. They're taking tinfoil stuff as gospel and jinning up their base. You'll remember their base, those lunatics who went to McCain/Palin rallies and called for violence against Obama.

The regrettable thing is they don't wait for the full moon but they're always like this. Give them any idiotic conspiracy theory -- any means of raising a ruckus over some imaginary threat -- and they're howling at the moon. You hear their theories as they filter down to the masses through Fox News and other sources of mental pollution. Someone's out to shut down Christian radio, someone's out to close down churches, someone's out to take away our guns, someone's out to make a one world government, someone's out to make the price of bread $40 a loaf.

We need more civics classes and fewer crazy talk shows.