DADT

Praise the Lord, the ungodly policy known as "Don't Ask Don't Tell" is finally going away.

I Knew John Edwards Was A Womanizer When I First Laid Eyes On Him

I had his number right off the bat.

So Why Sarah Palin?

Here's an article where the guy takes on the "haters" of Sarah Palin.

To him and to her supporters, the rest of us don't want her for president because we hate her and by extension anyone's who's "normal." Normal as in average folks.

But really, how "normal" is Sarah Palin? She was governor of Alaska, the vice presidential candidate of the Republican party, she's a bestselling author of two books, a public speaker making a ton of money, she has a commentator position on a major news network, and her own reality TV show. Not exactly Murray across the street or Gwen at Goodwill.

If our standard in presidential candidates is just to find someone "normal" -- meaning, I guess, someone who doesn't know any more about life, the world, and issues than me -- why not just elect me? I'm a normal guy. And I know a lot of other normal folks I could get for my cabinet. It's only (supposedly) the most powerful job in the world, what could possibly go wrong?

Football Player Blames God For Dropped TD Pass

I was at a restaurant tonight that had sports channels on all their TVs, and I saw this story, even though the volume was off on all the TVs. There was a football player, Steve Johnson of the Buffalo Bills, who dropped a perfect pass right in the endzone. They played the dropped pass clip on ESPN maybe eight or nine times right in a row.

Then they had a tweet from Mr. Johnson on the screen that said: "I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM HIS?? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO..."

I had no idea that had anything to do with God -- I just wondered who he'd be praising 24/7 -- but a few minutes later I glanced over at one of the other TVs and the headline had him blaming God. They even showed a clip of him doing a religious type of gesture, like, "God, here's to ya!", before a play, perhaps this play.

I read a later story online since I got home that he's walking back some of this, saying: "No I Did Not Blame God People! Seriously??!? CMon! I Simply Cried Out And Asked Why?" And "I AM HAPPY & THANKFUL 4 YESTERDAY! w/out Sunday i Wldnt have grew closer w/The Lord!!"

It does seem like if you say, "I praise you 24/7 and you did me dirt" essentially, that you were expecting some kind of quid pro quo for all the praising.

That's a silly way to think.

Spare The Rod, That Toy's A Video Camera

For old fashioned parents, who happen to be young enough to have kids, but they're old enough to believe the line about "Spare the rod, spoil the child," this blog has a cautionary note for you.

I was at the store the other day and saw a Barbie doll with a video camera built into the chest. Everyone needs cleavage like this! Boob, camera, boob.

So, let's say you're getting ready to discipline Junior (for his or her own good, of course). The little monster whips out a toy, videotapes you, you end up in jail, and Junior's at the home for rescued children.

You dismantle Barbie. The last file in her system shows your angry face trying to get her back opened to get the camera out. You carefully put it back together so no one notices. Junior comes home and starts acting up, since he or she knows they can. But you know better...

"Come here, you little brat!" you scream as you catch them once again in the act. Spank, spank, spank, for their own good, of course. The little brat then holds up the Barbie again. "I got that all on camera!" he shouts, the first coherent thing he's said basically in his life. But you know better!

The police show up and examine the Barbie, having no camera and hence no evidence. But Junior isn't finished yet. There's a Fisher Price mobile over the bed that's videotaping everything ... in 3D.

Dems Award DeMint and Palin Medal of Freedom

Link

The Rand Paul Stomp

I have a sneaking suspicion the Republicans' vision for America doesn't match up with my own. This kind of thing shouldn't be happening.

At least there's some guy in the background going, "No, no, no, no, c'mon," and the head stomping guy quits. So maybe they're not so far gone. It'd be good if they could be reasoned with, especially since I heard they had "Do not tread on me" stickers. Is there anything more ridiculous, under the circumstances?

O'Donnell: "God's Voice In Congress"

Christine O'Donnell says,

“God, you gave me this desire,” she said. “You gave me this desire of my heart to serve the people of Delaware to go in there and be your voice in Congress.”

So if she's elected she'll be God's voice in Congress. This is scary stupid.

Does Vilsack Work At NPR?

Juan Williams has been on Fox, what? ... forever? And apparently he's never said anything to raise the ire of his other employer NPR? In that whole time?

Personally, I don't listen to or watch NPR or Fox News. But I used to see Juan Williams on Fox back when I did watch it, several years ago. He was on Brit Hume's show in the afternoon. Then one day I quit cold turkey and never went back. I hate Fox News as much as anyone in the world.

As for NPR, I really haven't got time for it. Or the inclination. I don't like listening to the radio, etc. So I'm missing it. I don't even know what Juan Williams did at NPR.

Still, just going on the limited facts I've gotten piecemeal through the day, it sounds clearly like a case of NPR overreacting. If a guy states a fact about his feelings about 9/11 and Muslims, even though it's something I disagree with, it seems like he isn't beyond redemption. Plus, I heard he was even trying to talk down Bill O'Reilly about some of his more extreme views. So it wasn't a matter of hatred of Muslims for Juan Williams, apparently, but just a bad association for him in his mind when he flies. It sounds very unreasonable, but it's a hangup he has, I would call it. He didn't say he shouts them down or tries to kill them, etc.

Anyway, all's well for him, since Fox News (those scurrilous SOBs) gave him a position and a $2 million contract.

My big memory of Juan Williams on the Brit Hume show is that they always browbeat him. Brit was a terrible bully on that show and bullied anyone who even slightly disagreed with him. It was a disagreeable show, in my opinion. Juan had a hard time holding his own against the crumbs on the show.

The whole thing reminds me of Tom Vilsack, the mad sacker of people who did no crime. Is Tom Vilsack, speaking of crumbs, working at NPR? Did he have something to do with this idiotic decision?

Aqua Buddha

What is Aqua Buddha anyway? I never heard of him till this year. But it seems Aqua Buddha is the name of the god that Kentucky Senate candidate Rand Paul (R) worships, or something.

I'm not one to get in the way of someone's religion. If that's what he worships, of course that's his right as an American citizen and human being. I will defend anyone's right to worship whatever they want, be it rock, steel, a chunk of plaster, a flea they picked off their dog, anything. When I say I will defend their right to worship it, of course I'm hoping it doesn't come to a fist fight or weapons. I mean I will speak up if I feel they're being wronged in some way.

But that doesn't mean I won't make fun of it, because of course that's my right. I mean, picking a flea off a dog and worshiping it? To me, that's ridiculous. In my opinion, fleas aren't worthy of worship. They're worthy of a swift and painful death. But they're relatively tough to kill.

And to worship a chunk of plaster, that's also ridiculous. Which is what a lot of these Buddhas are. I sold some of them on eBay a few years ago. I had some Buddhas, swamis, etc., made of plaster. One of them got to the guy with its head broken off, so I had to refund his money. But I let him keep it, since what do I want with a severed head statue? So I suppose he kept it ... enjoyed his money back ... and got a lot of good worship in.

Was it Rand Paul I sold it to? I don't have any records of my sales from those days -- just my memory, and I couldn't say it was Rand Paul, and I couldn't say it wasn't. I hadn't heard of him back then. Even if it was him, it didn't ring any bells. But it doesn't seem likely, you know, in the total scheme of things. Although obviously he needs to get them somewhere, so it could've been me.

So I'm not a hypocrite, just because I sold a few of these, because I'm not making any judgments here. If that's what he wants to worship, like I said ... it's fine with me.

Now, what is the Aqua part of Aqua Buddha all about? It could be the statues out by the koi pond, or in the koi pond. I've seen Buddhas under water before, like in aquariums. It keeps the fish very zenned out, one assumes.

Reid Should Win Just Out Of Nevada's Self-Interest

If a state has the Senate's most powerful senator, they shouldn't kick him out and choose someone who won't do them any good.

Like in this quote:

For Reid, the challenge was to project a more likable image and to remind Nevadans of his considerable clout, which has allowed him to funnel mortgage relief, renewable energy investments and infrastructure dollars to the economically battered Silver State. 

Sharron Angle's not going to be able to get anything done for them. It seems like they ought to keep their self-interest in mind.

10-10-10-Rin-Tin-Tin

I almost forgot to comment about it being 10-10-10, which would've been a disaster. Not only is the world waiting to hear what I have to say about it, but if I didn't get this in I would have to wait another 100 years.

Will I be here 100 years from now? Of course I will. By then, imagine how many computers I will have gone through. If I get one every four or five years, that'll be 25 or so.

It's a propitious series of numerals, as propitious as any can be, I guess. For better, for worse. Reminds me of Rin Tin Tin.

Sri Masturbananda

I wrote about Sri Tamasananda a couple months ago. Like most of these yogic names, it's a combination of a word and ananda, meaning the bliss of whatever it is. In this case, Tamasananda means the bliss of the tamas guna, generally the least liked one of all.

Today I'm thinking of another great saint, Sri Masturbananda, with his very own unspoken source of bliss. Often spending his time alone, when he does finally appear in public he's usually smiling. At least a beatific grin. The swami is also the patron saint of magazine readers everywhere.

More Bad News For Christine O'Donnell

Frank Gaffney

How did Frank Gaffney become so extremely evil? What demon do you have to sell your soul to to be so completely rotten as a human being?

Ironic! The Guy Needs A Dollar...

This was at Amazon.com this morning. It's a little ironic. Most of their songs are 99 cents. And this one guy, Aloe Blacc, needs a dollar, and they're giving his song away!

The Next Bus To Mars

I was watching a show about sending people to Mars, what it'd take to get a crew. The big issue is the length of time it'd take to get there and back, years. And of course on such a journey, all of them cooped up in a tiny spaceship, there'd be all kinds of chances to get sick of each other. Or, on the other hand, to be attracted to each other. So one of the issues addressed was sex between astronauts.

Then right after watching this show, I took the bus downtown. I started thinking, What if the crew was the people on the bus? Just a random bunch of people. We all seemed to be getting along OK, at least in the 20-30 minutes together, of course also with people getting off and on. There was no sex I saw, except a young man was speaking with a young woman ... and there's no telling where that could lead, say if they were alone in a motel instead of on a bus...

So among the first crew to Mars we have: A boy with a big backpack, so big he's wearing it and sitting sideways so the backpack has its own seat. Put him down for two tickets. A schoolgirl who's drawn a red peace symbol on her cheek. A big potbellied guy with a beard. A cleaning lady at one of the motels who's chomping her mouth up and down all the time but apparently not chewing anything. A little later there was a guy I've seen on the bus before, who knows a lot about Korean society from a couple of sales trips he's made there.

I minded my business, just sitting there thinking about (and making notes about) the others. I'm sure I'd qualify, at least, for the trip to Mars.

These Colors Don't Run!

The Enthusiasm Gap

How much enthusiasm do you really need to vote?

It's ridiculous, that our people hang back if they're not enthused, even in the face of the other side being obviously crazy. How much enthusiasm do you need to make sure your house doesn't burn down? If your living room's on fire, is it enthusiasm or the interests of self-preservation that arouses you from your slumber long enough at least to call the fire department?

People's lack of drive at this is inexcusable. It's like you have to actually have a bear trap around your leg to know you don't really like bear traps. How about using a little imagination!

Sept. 11 -- International Wacko Day

Won't it really be something if September becomes International Wacko Day, as we go on?

We've got this crazy preacher who's created an international incident with threatening to burn the Qu'ran on the ninth anniversary of Sept. 11. Imagine who all is going to come out of the woodwork next year on the 10th!

Then from there, it'll just have to get crazier to top the previous year.

So we're left with an act of madness, the original 9/11, being commemorated by our nation of perpetual victimhood by wilder and stupider acts of madness from that point on.

George W. Bush was the first wacko, of course. He needed to commemorate the event by going to war with a country that had nothing to do with it. But, to be fair, he already wanted to invade Iraq; he was just looking for an excuse.

For a while there, we thought Sept. 11 was going to become Patriot's Day (or something like that.) But that idea was just as wacko because, What does it have to do with patriotism? The idea of patriotism was co-opted and exploited by the Republicans to justify their years of criminal activity.

Happy Wacko Day ... I personally still have a "September 10 mindset" (a dirty word all those years ago), but, hey, in my defense, today is Sept. 10. What other "mindset" should I have?

Aren't we all a little wacko (myself excluded) for letting the terrorists win? We should've just gone back to normal.

The Earth Will Burn Up And That'll Be It

I was watching the great Science Channel tonight. Being the scientist I am (not), I personally discovered this channel about two weeks ago. I went on an expedition of discovery with the remote one day and found the channel, immediately jabbing a tiny flag where the remote button had been and claiming it for America.

Now I'm the monarch of the Science Channel in our house. The family knows we're getting down for business when I come out of my room with a white lab coat, Poindexter glasses, and a clipboard. In a few minutes, then, we're off to galaxies that are literally out of this world. Next stop: Planets we can only discern by the wobble in their star!

I love all the shows about Venus and Jupiter and the planets that are close enough that we can actually see them. None of these places is fit to go to, although one of the big moons -- I can't think of its name -- is a little more earth-like, except that everything there is methane. Too bad about that one detail.

Tonight I was watching it and there was some projections about the earth's ultimate demise, starting around a billion years from now, with things getting progressively worse for the next billion. It's a sobering thought, Picassos, the Mona Lisa, my Beatles CDs, and everything else, going up in smoke. But they had it vividly portrayed, with the planet as we know it, then the seas turning to brown dirt, and everything becoming like a cinder.

And even though it is a billion years away, it's still sad. Because you really take it for granted, even if you know you'll be dead, that at least everything else won't change that much. And the fact that it's a billion years away isn't that big a comfort, because we've already had nine or 10 billion years in the past. Did you notice how fast that went by? Time's on a real tear when you're not here to witness it.

Then, by coincidence, or on an unrelated subject, I happened to see a few minutes of "Hoarders." They showed the usual assortment of troubled folks who surround themselves and bury themselves in clutter, because they haven't got the psychological stomach to throw anything away. I'm a little like that, but not technically. I throw away garbage quite willingly. Anyway, I'm thinking about the earth burning up, then I see people hoarding dog food cans and the unused core of heads of lettuce (let's say), and I think, "Don't you see how crazy that is? The whole earth is going to burn up and you can't throw away your trash?"

The High Cost Of Diesel (Funny Gas Station Mistake)

I saw this sign today, Sept. 6. I didn't have a camera with me, so I hoped it'd still be there after I made it all the way home and went back. So there you have it, a gallon of diesel for the incredibly low price of $9.25!

Advice To Elvis

I watched a DVD of Elvis Presley's three "Ed Sullivan" appearances, late 1956 and early 1957.

My advice to Elvis, if he's reading this, and if it's still relevant to his career in any way, is to cool it with the joking around while singing.

It really bugs me to have him goofing off while singing these great songs, even if it is over 50 years ago. It's very annoying.

As for Ed Sullivan himself, the guy was a stick in the mud. He's sort of scolding his audience for screaming, just like he did a few years later, it seems like, when he had the Beatles on.

With Elvis' first appearance on Ed's show, Ed was off, because he'd had a car accident, and so he had a few guest hosts over those weeks. The host on Elvis' week was Charles Laughton. He's not any more impressive than Ed.

Stephen Hawking And God

Everyone's going to be mad at Stephen Hawking for saying the universe could've been created without God, just by spontaneous generation.

I caught a glimpse of a bit of it, but I basically just spontaneously generated the idea in my head. Anytime you get a guy like him in bad shape -- like, oh, what's that guy's name? He's a famous atheist and he just came down with a terminal illness. I can't think of his name -- there's comments like that.

The comment I glimpsed was something, "Yeah? Well, why can't he spontaneously make himself WHOLE again," with WHOLE in all caps.

What is that's guy's name? He used to be on Hardball. I'm trying to Google "atheist pundit". I got it with "famous atheist sick." It's Christopher Hitchens.

Happy Shackleton Rescue Day

I've been reading the book by Sir Ernest Shackleton, "South," about his expedition to Antarctica back in 1914 and the rescue of his men in 1916. There's a lot of details.

The thing to mention today is that the famous rescue was made on August 30, today!

One of the men wrote, "We intend to keep August 30th as a festival for the rest of our lives."

Since they've all passed on by now, happy festival day as the rest of us celebrate it!

Sri Tamasananda

I follow the teachings of Sri Tamasananda, a very holy man.

He teaches me that to have self-realization and find enlightenment, I should eat as much pork products as I can. Not when I'm not hungry or anything. But when I have the opportunity and desire, eat bacon, bratwurst, pork chops, side pork, ham, etc. And eat my fill.

It makes a lot of sense to me and I feel like I'm practically there already. I think I am. Today I had four slices of bacon for breakfast and a couple fried brats for dinner.

There's just something about the pig to take away your ascetic blues. Forgoing pork might be some people's path, but to Sri Tamasananda and me, it's the other path.

My Flagship Blog

Technically, this is my flagship blog. It's the one that coincides with my name. I believe it came first.

But in the order of priority -- as things are working out recently -- it's taking a back seat to Grandma Slump.

This is an idea I had six months ago, which one should I consider my flagship blog. Isn't that really something to think about? I'm just that way, always thinking that something out of multiple choices needs to be the flagship whatever.

Which of the three ships Columbus had was his flagship?

Alan Simpson's Tits

One time I was about 10 inches from Alan Simpson. I believe it must have been 1988, Des Moines, at a Republican presidential debate. He was there, apparently not in the debate but in attendance.

I was standing outside waiting to get in and he was right there by me. I saw him 360 degrees, or most of the 360. Certainly I saw that it was him, up close. Then, and this is what I want to get to, I saw him from behind.

When I saw him from behind I saw something that I've never forgotten. It's etched in my memory. I saw he had reddish hair and that it was very loose. Even though it was neatly combed, it was cut straight across at the bottom by his neck. And when he talked or laughed it jiggled back and forth very vigorously.

That's what I think of whenever I hear about Alan Simpson.

Now he's in the news again, saying Social Security is like a cow with 310 million tits. There was a reporter on TV, MSNBC, and of course they're reluctant to say tits on TV. She was saying he was talking about "a female body part," and that when you refer to cows it has to be "teats."

Yeah? Well, that's crap. Because language doesn't have that kind of rules. I've heard cow's udders called tits a million and one times. That's the way language works, based on how people actually talk. And Simpson had it exactly right. He wasn't referring to a female body part (in the sense of women), but a cow's milk spiggots, which, yes, are called teats, tits, udders, and there's probably other words for it.

It sounds almost Hindu, a cow with 310 million tits. Way to go, Alan!

The United States of Idiots

I keep seeing the headlines: "Growing Numbers of Americans Think Obama is a Muslim."

He clearly isn't. So why are people so idiotic as to believe a lie when it's been shot down conclusively? I fear for our country. Rationality and facts are a better basis for life than lying.

Such idiots.

The Worst Baggage Ever

If you didn't see it, you missed a heck of a "Baggage" last night!

Harry Reid -- The Weasel

Harry Reid, well known for missing a spine, caved once again, this time on the mosque issue (that shouldn't really be an issue.)

He thinks it should be "someplace else." You know what? Harry Reid is a weasel.

Freedom Press

I'm surprised that our nation appears to have let the French off the hook. Remember, these are the freedom-hating guys who would've kept us out of Iraq if they'd've had their way!

I know I personally haven't forgotten their perfidy -- I hope that's the right word.

Now I hear they're trying to build an Eiffel Tower somewhere close to Ground Zero. And it's well known that drunks have been getting cheap French wine somewhere in the area too. Which is disgusting.

Let's keep them out!

I haven't given up the fight, I don't know about the rest of you. I still eat Freedom fries. And I even make my morning coffee in a Freedom press coffee pot. And, seriously, that's the way it's going to be until they apologize about Iraq!

Obama Sticks Up For The Muslims

It's about time. It drives me crazy to see the crazies take the field against people.

The Republican Tea Party wackos are trying their best to make a royal mess in our country. They're so idiotic. One, they praise the Constitution to high heaven. But two, they don't "get it" that the First Amendment also applies to others, such as Muslims. Good grief, things that are obvious ... they don't get.

I read today that President Obama finally stuck up for the Muslims on all this anti-mosque idiocy that's been the emphasis of the Republican Tea Party the last few weeks.

It's really too bad that the Republican idiots can't see people's rights for what they are. But even if they're so stupid they can't do that, they ought to at least be able to see it from the point of view of self interest. If they're so eager to take away someone else's rights, then who's to prevent someone else from taking away their rights?

Reading Is Super Cool

They say reading is fundamental, but I say it's super cool.

If you can get interested in a book -- and the first chapter's usually the toughest -- you'll find great rewards in reading. I know I have, finding the various stories very appealing.

I was at the town library yesterday, and I must say, they have a lot of great books. If you follow a few simple rules, they leave you alone. You can look to your heart's content. And you can read all you want ... for free!

If you qualify for a library card, and most people who can show positive identification and are patient through the waiting period do, you can check out books, also to your heart's content. I've got four books right here!

No one gave me any grief while I was there. I probably could've gone in there with a scoop shovel and no one would've cared!

Summer is coming to a close. It'll be ending any day now. But while it lasts, how about doing yourself a favor, and reading!

Those Profitable Google Ads

I keep hearing how much Google is worth with all the money they make on ads.

And I have to say, "Yes!" Because I know firsthand. You see, I run many of their ads on my very popular blogs, and I know I'm doing all right.

All told, I'm making somewhere between 0 and $1,000 a day on their ads, and that's great. It's definitely enough that, say someday I wanted to buy a pair of shoes or something, I would eventually be able to afford them.

Thanks for visiting the fine merchants who advertise with these little Google ads. And not just for visiting, but also buying whatever it is that they sell and that you need.

Also Spake Zarathrustra

Ba -ba - ba - BUH - DUH! Boom boom boom boom.
Ba- ba - ba - BUH - DUH!

I could go on at some length, blah blah blah, ad just short of infinitum. No one said I couldn`t, who of course would be wrong.

How Utterly Worthless Ben Nelson Is

This just in, on new Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan:

The Democrats were nearly united in support, with only Sen. Ben Nelson (D-NE) voting "No." 

Isn't it amazing how utterly worthless Ben Nelson is? On this and every other issue that comes down the pike. If he's so afraid of losing in Nebraska, just become a Republican already. It's not that we would know the difference.

Toilet Paper

Neatly prepare or wad?

The Ear Canal

How complicated is the ear canal anyway?

I keep getting the itchies in my ear canals. Is canals even the right word for it? The place between the outer ear and the hearing bits.

Why are ear and hear virtually the same word? Hear is like ear with a breathing mark. You hear with an ear. An ear of corn can hear itself rustling in the field.

I would love to get rid of these itchies forever. I keep scratching them, then there's funky things that happen with my ears and drainage. It's a vicious cycle.

There ought to be some kind of medicine I could daub in there, Scalpicin for the ear.

997

My 997th post is dedicated to my late dad.

People At McDonald's

I was at McDonald's yesterday morning for breakfast. And the thought came to me, while up passing by people, getting napkins next to them, etc., that people when you're at McDonald's seem a lot more harmless than when you're other places.

You might be standing next to a guy with the greatest anxiety, someone about to kill himself in his apartment, assuming people still ever do that, but as long as he's carrying a McDonald's bag and getting a napkin, he's safe.

I barely know anyone in this town so everyone's a stranger. For all that, it was remarkable that there was a guy I had a bare acquaintance with back in April. I didn't recognize him but my wife did, so we said hello and some other things. I knew he lost his job in April or May so it was nice to know he got a new job. That's the kind of happy news you get when you see him at McDonald's. If we'd've been anywhere else, he'd've been dangling from a beam.

At McDonald's, you feel like you could kindly get a napkin for someone else who needed one, or a glass of water if they needed to daub some hashbrown grease off their face. Then they pull off the property, roll up their window, lock their door, and turn their nose up.

Sunflower Seeds

It used to be I would get the sunflower seeds in the shell, then eat them one at a time. How good they were, but I went in cycles on doing it.

Eating them like that, you wish you could have a whole handful.

They also sell them by the bagful, already out of the shell. Workers at the processing plant are busy popping the shells in their mouth, breaking them, and spitting out the goodie on the assembly line.

I just got a bag of these ... and I'm impatient in eating them, not going one, three, five at a time, but a handful at a time. There's just no moderation with me!

So, whether I eat them one at a time, like in the old days, or a few at a time, you know, that's the way it is.

Now That I'm A Birther

Now that I'm a birther what?

What more can I say than he wasn't born here? It's my word against his and everyone else's.

What are my options? Hawaii won't honor my request for the birth certificate, meaning they have something to hide. I'm up against a brick wall here.

Plus, he's already been president 18 months. If I don't get something accomplished pretty soon, it's going to be a moot point.

I'll carry on as best as I can...

OK, I'm A Birther

Barack Obama was definitely not born in America and therefore is ineligible to be President.

Ha, ha.

Breitbart

Is there anyone quite as evil as this guy? I know, his fellow travelers on the lying right-wing lunatic fringe. But ... really! How does someone get so evil, so rotten to the core?

Tom Vilsack Sucks

Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack sucks. I'd like to throw him under the tractor.

Does God Hate America?

A couple days ago I saw a picture of the religious group from Kansas that says "God Hates America." They're out parading around at funerals with big signs saying that.

Does God hate America? That would explain the existence of Republicans.

Does All Wine Get Drank?

Drink, drank, drunk. I'm thinking of the question of whether all wine gets drank or drunk?

As in this scenario: You go to the store and see they have 10,000 different kinds of wine and about 10 bottles of each one. Will there eventually be someone to actually drink all those different bottles? Or at some point do they just empty them out and start over?

There's some real obscurity when it comes to wine.

Obstruct And Repeal

The Republicans' answer to everything is to obstruct legislation, then when it passes they vow to repeal it.

They need to realize that in this country we want problems solved. We don't just want Congress to dink around and get nothing done. And we don't want everything to be obstructed, then repealed. Let's make some progress.

They are not governing. The Republicans we currently suffer are nothing but vandals.

Trees Don't Give Up

Over a month ago I was writing about the little oak trees that pop up all over on my yard.

I've been mowing them down for well over a month and they keep popping up. It's ridiculous. I'm hoping that at some point they will come to the end of their vitality.

It's really strange. They simply don't give up. You hack them down and they come right back!

Ronald McDonald In Rough Shape -- For Sale

Here's a Ronald McDonald I saw in an antique store recently. It's just the head and it's a bit banged up. For all that, it's still $165.

McChrystal

You'd seriously think this idiot would be smarter than this. Civilian authority and the military side and all that. What a dope.

Strangers And Crowds

I've noticed a shift in my thinking about people.

I recently moved from a small town to a larger town. In the small town, I knew quite a few people, if not by name then at least by their place in the community, tellers, clerks, etc. In the larger town I know virtually no one.

The shift is I'm a lot more suspicious of people the fewer of them I know. I'm starting to blend in as a nameless, faceless person myself.

I've gone from fairly well known to a stranger. And it feels very strange. Not pleasant.

Watergate

It seems like Watergate happened right about now, around June 17 sometime.

That's one to look up. The third rate burglary.

A Devilish Policeman

I was on a bus today, riding along, and I saw a policeman pulled up in a parking lot with his radar gun trained on the traffic in front and behind us.

He looked a little too eager, in my opinion, to catch some poor soul doing something wrong.

So I thought: "You devil, how'd you like it if we did that to you?"

A Town Of Overachievers

Since I moved a couple months ago, I've had plenty of time to study my new town.

One of my conclusions is that it seems like a town of overachievers. Compared to my old place, where it seemed like everyone was comfortable with whatever level he or she had attained years ago.

This really came screaming home to me today when I was at Dairy Queen. I was sitting there drinking my Moolatte, a frozen coffee flavored drink they have, and I looked over and saw an average guy talking to an average woman. They were both well over 60, I would guess. But they had some important looking legal papers, each with his or her own stack, respectively, and were conferring about technical things, yet not so loudly that I could make out what they were saying (I wasn't trying either.)

That was where I started thinking "a town of overachievers." Because at my old place, this same old couple would be drinking their drink and thinking about nothing. Life would've already passed them by. Something like that.

Then when I was getting ready to leave, in the booth next to them, not in my direct field of vision while I was at my table, there was another guy with some papers, stacked up, and he was examining the stacks, apparently with an eye as to their contents. I didn't examine them myself, but I got the impression that he might be a lawyer, a real estate agent, an editor, or an entrepreneur about to make an important presentation. His papers, stacked as I said, knew where they belonged.

It really hit home with me, this is a town of overachievers. This same guy in my old town would've been sitting at DQ with three kids and no papers. Maybe he's very happy overachieving, but it's too bad he couldn't try his alternate destiny on for size too.

P.S. I like preserving my original messaged, misspelled idea, in this case, "A town of overachievers _ papers at dq maybeeditor"

Mechanic? Your Size Is Right

You want to be a mechanic here? Yeah, you're about the right size. You're hired!"

Original idea sent in with my faulty typing on the phone: "Mechanic? Yeah you r abot riite size_ you r hired"

My Faithful Canine Bed Partner

Since my move, I've kept my dog in my room at night, with the door closed.

Where we lived before, I kept the door open. So the dog would be in the bed with me, then get up in a half hour and leave the room. Before morning, sometime, she would pee on the kitchen floor, or dining area.

But now, originally to keep her from peeing on the kitchen floor in the new place, I keep the bedroom door closed. And she knows the difference. She goes to bed with me and she doesn't get up! She's there all night long!

It's been something like four weeks ... and this dog hasn't gotten out of bed through the night even once. That's some kind of record. Plus it's some kind of habit, and this dog doesn't break habits easily once they're made.

Smoking At A Gas Station

This is one of my really big pet peeves, seeing people smoking outside at a gas station. You want to give them an X-ray of their head to see if there's something in there that's just not computing. After all, isn't what happens when gas and fire meet fairly well known?

A few weeks ago I saw it happening, people smoking about 15 feet from the pump. I went in and complained to the cashier, but he just blew it off. 'They work right over there,' indicating a place inside the gas station, 'and they do that all the time.' OK, I haven't been back to that gas station. Not only that, their receipt printer is permanently broken.

Today I was driving by a BP gas station (a BP!) and someone was on the front step, looking every bit an employee, and she also was smoking. I thought the usual things I think about, like how dense do you really have to be to do this? But in this case I also thought, It's BP, for crying out loud! How stupid are the people who work for this company?

Anyone with any sense would not be smoking with gas pumps right there a few feet away!

I'm Still Warm

This is a sure way to get hot, mow the yard.

I did it tonight and when I got done, I had grass on my arms, and plenty of sweat all over me, including a shirt that I'd sweat through.

I was steamed!

I took a shower over an hour ago, but I'm still a little hot, and sort of uncomfortable.

I waited till about night to do the job, because otherwise I'd be boiling with the sun's heat. It's nice to have the job done, just not that nice doing it.

Tree Abortions

I have hundreds if not thousands of baby trees coming up in my yard. It's crazy.

This is no way for trees to grow, a few to every inch. If they were allowed to grow up, they'd never make it, since there would be no room for anyone to get big.

So I've been plucking them up, weed whacking them, and, when the time comes, I'll be mowing them.

It's a little sad, since I know we're all trying to save trees. But we can't save every one of the little fellas. Otherwise I wouldn't have any yard, and, like I said, the trees would end up way too thick anyway.

The Sophisticate At Breakfast

I don't know if people really think I look comfortable in my own skin. I don't, so there's no reason they should think of it.

It's funny, really. Because if anyone should feel comfortable in his own skin, I would think it'd be me. But I sure don't!

Today I was milling around the place where we were about to have breakfast and I was thinking of this. I got up from the waiting bench so someone else would be able to sit, if they wanted. There I was milling around, with nowhere to put my arms. So naturally they're flailing about.

If you cross your arms that makes you looked closed. But if they're just wiggling back and forth, that's a bad look too.

Of course I about tripped over people, with the whole coincidental nature of people turning and trying to walk in the same space.

Finally, while worrying about the parking meter, which I got up to feed, I came back in and my breakfast was hot and steaming, waiting on the table for me. I sat down, the sophisticate at breakfast, and enjoyed it.

We had numerous laughs, which gave me that spontaneous look, no doubt. Then it was time to eat in earnest.

The Minute You Walked In The Room

All of us like the old song that says, "The minute you walked in the room I could tell you were a man of distinction." What is that called anyway? "Hey Big Spender"?

I seem to remember it being a song that was used in a commercial for a brand of cigars, maybe White Owl. But who was the singer? Was it Joey Heatherton? Or Edie Adams? Seems like it was Edie Adams. I can't remember for sure, but it seems like she had hair kind of like an owl. No offense intended.

I like to think that when I walk into the room people think I'm a man of distinction, even if I'm not smoking. I went into a store the other day, a store that I think, after thinking about it, is probably meant for the smoking of illegal stuff. But they have little signs that say that's not so. My own suspicion is that the signs are a -- wink, wink -- disclaimer for legal purposes. I looked at all the pipes and asked what all this was. The friendly lady waiting on me said they were for tobacco. I didn't stay around, because I said I don't smoke. Really, how big of an idiot do you have to be to be a smoker these days?

Still, like the song says, you can be a man of distinction. Not that I really think I am. Usually when I walk into a room, no one notices. At least the lady at the tobacco place saw me standing there!

The White House Holding Back

It looks to me like we need a greater urgency and federal involvement to get the oil spill cleaned up.

Trying to let BP clean up their own mess would seem only right if it was at one level, something manageable. Now that it's a gigantic catastrophe, and apparently not going to clean and fix itself, we need a response that is equally massive.

What's the problem? I read somewhere that the White House doesn't want to get "the blame" if things go badly. Good grief, is that what's motivating us or holding us back, who gets the blame? It should be very clear where the blame lies, with the company that ran the business, plus the poor regulation that came out of the Bush years.

But we have a catastrophe now -- a very depressing mess -- and we need to act like it. They need to get in there and do what it takes and spend what it takes to make it right. Then as far as I'm concerned, let BP go broke and out of business -- who cares about them? I don't. They're vandals anyway.

I think President Obama ought to make this a national priority and get it done.

My Negative Energy Knocks Over A Dog

I may have knocked over a dog yesterday just by passing by.

Sometimes I think I have some very strong negative energy, which I know is a terrible thing to say about yourself but it's true. But usually people and animals are able to remain standing as I pass.

A couple of months ago I went by some trees and some guys were sawing one of them and it fell right when I was there. In that case it probably had more to do with the sawing than with me. But I don't know what to say about yesterday.

I was walking down the sidewalk when a guy came around the corner with two big dogs, about a half a couch each, loveseat sized. We commented on how great the dogs looked, then took a couple of steps on our way past. Then I don't know what happened exactly, but we looked around and one of the dogs was laying on his side and refused to get up. The dog's owner was patting him.

I called back to the guy, "Does that happen very often?" And he said that he'd had the dogs for 2 1/2 years and that this was the first time ever.

Hmm... the thought came to me that I'd just knocked over that dog with my negative energy. And I try to be such a positive person, but these things just happen.

My Elephant Wall Hanging

I think I mentioned the other day that I have now a "meditation room" where I live.

My original idea, which I had 11 or 12 years ago, was to have a room with nothing in it, and call it "the God room" or "God's room." That idea didn't last very long, because I needed the room for my own practical purposes.

Anyway, even the Temple in the Bible, in the holy of holies, had stuff in it. It wasn't entirely empty. Plus, if you just have an empty room there's a terrible echo and it's very distracting.

But what to put in it? My own first thought is practical things. Like a chair to sit in. A little bookcase. Some books. A table. And so forth. Then there is the issue of what to put on the walls. And that's where I'm struggling right now. Because everything I see seems too cliché, not my style, not righteous (in the 60s Righteous Brothers sense), or there's some other objection.

I was at one of those world stores tonight and was looking at some of the wall hangings and so forth. They didn't have a real great selection, but I finally did get one, a wall hanging of some sewn elephants, something made in India, probably by some poor slave making eight cents an hour (I hope not).

Elephants. It looks pretty good, but of course I have a bad association with elephants, which always remind me of Republicans, most of whom I hate. In this case though, I'm figuring what do the Indians know about Republicans? I'm not saying there that much happier than us, but if they don't know much about Republicans wouldn't they have to be?

If the thing screws up my meditations, I'll get rid of it.

Meditating In A Dark Room

I've had a couple of interesting experiences in complete darkness recently. At the new place where I live, the basement has several rooms, and there's only one room with windows. When you close that door the rest of the place is completely dark. Then you can go into another room and you're even more isolated.

I'm using this room as a "meditation room," so far, where I can read my Bible, other spiritual literature, do certain exercises that I do, pray, and just sit and meditate. A couple of times so far I've turned the light off and just sat in complete darkness. Today I even did my exercises in complete darkness. To me it's a very interesting experience.

I started thinking though about fish that don't have any eyes because they're down a trench where there's no light, and even though I'm not really worried (because I'm not going to be down there forever), it's something to think about. It's a very strange feeling, as most of us have experienced at one time or another, to be in complete darkness. The expression, "You can't see your hand in front of your face," is very true. Because I've tried!

There is a little bit of illusion to it, because your brain tries to compensate and you think you can see the shadow of your hand. And other shadows as well. I have some pillows there in a pile that my dog was laying on the other day, and I thought it could see some light shining on one of the pillows. But then I started thinking maybe it was just my imagination or my brain compensating, etc. I put my hand in front of my face and I thought I couldn't see the light. I lay down on the floor and couldn't see where any light was coming in. Yet I could still see it. It turned out that the pillow has some kind of very light florescent surface, at least on one edge, and so that's what I was seeing. So I tossed it out in the hall.

It's a freaky thing then if you sort of halfway lose your sense of direction and are trying to get to the light switch. I didn't really lose my sense of direction, but you can get off by a couple of feet while exercising and have to start feeling around. I had a small fan going and so I could judge my positioning by it.

I really think I'm going to like this room and my experiences in it!

The Specter Passes From The Scene

I'm really happy about Arlen Specter, that he lost in Pennsylvania.

What I was think about him is that he was a thorn in the Democrat side for way too long to be a loyal Democrat now. His conversion to the Democratic Party was strictly for his own survival. And the fact that it didn't do him any good is a good thing.

So now he can retire and go back to being a Republican he's always been.

Richard Blumenthal

So what is the problem with this clown from Connecticut, Richard Blumenthal, a Democrat running for the Senate?

Over the years he has lied about serving in Vietnam. He was in the military at that time but did not go to Vietnam. So why would someone be stupid enough, being in politics and having your whole life open to the public, to make such a ridiculous claim?

It is not like anyone really checks up on these things is it? Yeah, right!

But on the other hand it sometimes pays to be a slimy liar when you are in politics. Unfortunately the goofball is a Democrat and that's my side. So I guess I hope wins. Whatever.

How's The Oil Spill Going?

I hope the oil spill is going alright. I really am not keeping track of it or reading the news except what I see in the headlines. Because I find it so depressing!

The company responsible for this, or companies if there is more than one, ought to be strung up and skinned alive. What they have done is reprehensible. And since the Supreme Court judged that a corporation is a person, this is one person needs to go to prison.

As for those who blamed Pres. Obama right off the bat, of course they look foolish, which is hard to do because they already looked foolish enough. One of the things that I did read said it was some kind of gigantic methane ball under the rig that surged up. That sounds like something too hard for even the president to manage to cause!

But those in charge of the safety of the range have no excuse because their science and their technicians ought to know the possibilities of their business. And if they do not they need to be held accountable to the full extent.

I drove by a BP gas station today and thought, I wonder if there is any backlash at that level, because personally it is not a place I would go to right now.

The Cone With The Curl

I had one of these cones with the curl on top today. But I forgot to look at my friends' ice cream, one in a cone and one in a cup, to see if theirs had curls.

It takes a little more effort to eat a cone with a curl, because you have to crook your tongue more. If it's just straight on top you can eat it straight.

This might've been an issue for the other guys, it could have been. But they went to eating their ice cream so fast, I didn't notice any problems.

For me, my tongue doesn't wear out so easily anyway, so I could handle several curls and it wouldn't make any difference. But straight would be nice too, just for a change.

I've Got My CDs Alphabetized

I recently moved, and I have a little more room for various things. One thing I have more room for is my CD collection.

Before, I had some in one room, then racks of them uncategorized and unalphabetized around the house. Now, at least this is true for all the ones I've found so far, I have them all in one place ... and all in alphabetical order.

That's nice. Now at long last I can see what I have. I don't have the classicals alphabetized or Christmas, but everything else. How nice.

So I'm A Man?

I went into a place and someone stepped up, "May I help you, sir?"

What makes you think I'm a man?

Can't Find A Million Dollars

I've been sweeping up around my new room, just now getting it cleaned ... I moved a couple weeks ago.

All around I'm finding a penny or a dime here and there, then another, then another, and maybe a quarter. So I have a whole little pile of change. I even found a couple smashed pennies from the previous occupants, smashed at an amusement park with a little design on them.

It seems endless but I know it's not ... or I'd see pennies and dimes piled all over the property. So no matter how many I find, I'm never going to find a million dollars.

We've been watching some of the episodes of "Deal or No Deal," which I never saw in its prime time run. I'd barely even heard of it, but I know I did hear of it, because my daughter was talking about it a few years ago, how she'd like to be a contestant. But I didn't explore it to see what it was.

They have a million dollars for their top prize, but hardly anyone gets it. I even looked it up on Wikipedia, and they have the records of how many people have gotten the million. And I believe it's less than five, like three. Three?!

So it's tough to find a million dollars. Even when they're giving it away.

Antarctica A Big Continent

Someone was reminding me today of Antarctica, that big icy place down south somewhere.

I'd forgotten temporarily that it was a continent. And while we were talking about it being what it is, I said something stupid like, "So it was a continent at one time?" And I immediately thought how stupid that was, and knew that it was a continent now. That gave the other person the chance to say that it is a continent, which I knew.

The parts I didn't know, how dumb I am, was that it was a continent up here somewhere, not entirely down there. And that it drifted along with the other stuff of continental drift. In its case, being around where Brazil is now, it had the misfortune to drift about as far south as you can go. I guess it pushed the original South Pole out of the way, and that's why all the magnets moved their power to the North. Joking.

Anyway, there was lots of flora and fauna on Antarctica, and now it's well known as being fossilized. Because it's so old and needed to be preserved somehow.

Duncey

Hat rack, hot rocks, Shadrach.

Hadrian, hot plate, help yourself.

Hot springs, helpless, strapless bra.

Health to you, hoop skirt, stiff neck.

Hip replaced, knock kneed, studied.

High chair, highway, speed bumps.

Sweeping Up Cut Hair

I spent an hour today in a haircutting place. My dad used to say that something was "as fun as watching haircuts," so I got to experience that firsthand.

As for me myself, I don't get my hair cut in these places. My wife's been cutting it for nearly 40 years, so it really is a rarity for me to be there.

So I sat and observed others in the hot seat. I was there waiting with friends who were getting trimmed.

After each person they collected money. My wife never does that.

Then to prepare for the next person they swept up the old hair with a broom, and swept it back toward the back somewhere where I couldn't see. I thought that must be a nice sight back there, the day's sweepings. They definitely didn't do two or three, then sweep it up, but after each person.

It made me start thinking of other potentially more labor-saving and time-saving systems of doing it, like having a hole in the floor that you could open up. Maybe flames come shooting up and consume the hair, then die back down as the hole is closed.

My Move - 1

To move is a major disruption in your life. But I finally got it accomplished. The packing, the truck, the hundreds of arrangements about where you're going and what you're going to do.

I was in my prior town with plans to leave at a particular time. Then one of the final things was to get some money from a guy who owed me. It was remarkable, but he did actually pay me. It required a trip to one of those instant checking places (where he has some history). We had to wait around 10 minutes for the time delay safe to open, him inside the business, me in the car. Then, by cracky, the money that I figured I'd never see again was in my actual hand.

So that was one of the last things. Then to get some breakfast, eat it on the last two folding chairs in a room with nothing else except a garbage can, and get going.

There was one major complication that happened while I was off doing the business with the guy and the money, between that and the time I got breakfast and made it back home. Which was a period of about 35 minutes, leaving my wife at the essentially empty house. All the years we were there she never had this accident, but in this half hour time, out of the blue, she managed to drop a glass of water and it ruined her cell phone.

This stuff was all "one in a million" stuff, the idea that I'm off with a guy getting money, a guy a couple months late and we'd basically given up on, and the idea that she would ruin her phone in an empty house. There was a rare confluence of something above, one would assume.

Then we were off, all the farewells done. And now it was raining.

We were in separate vehicles, and it was precisely at this time that we needed the cell phones the most. But with hers out of commission totally, we had to improvise, make plans for down the road, etc. Which didn't help much when we were separated within the first two blocks. Serious.

I waved her on, it might seem, although I was really waving her out of the way so I could turn the truck. She thought I meant "Go on to the first stop," which I didn't mean. So she went on, I turned the corner, didn't see her, wondered what happened, and waited there five minutes. She didn't reappear, leaving me to think she was looking for me, and that without a cell phone we were lost even though we were still within blocks of each other.

The short story is that she indeed went on to the first stop. I got there and we made better arrangements to stay closer together.

Where I Am With Moving

My truck is nearly loaded completely.

I just have a mattress and a few last minute things to load around it, in the morning.

It's been a ton of work, but thankfully I hired a couple people to do part of the nasty stuff.

They did a great job.

I'm A Volcano Denier

Some people deny the Holocaust, some deny global warming, some deny Barack Obama was born anywhere. Not me on any of that.

I deny the existence of volcanoes. Think about it: It doesn't make a bit of sense. There's no fire in the hole that comes up. There's no air down there, because the air's all in the sky. And you need air for fire.

So I think it's all a big hoax, something they do on a Hollywood stage, if Hollywood even exists. Count me among the true Bobby Jindal disbelievers. We don't believe in volcanoes.

Now we have this so-called volcano in Iceland, called by some big obviously fake word, Eyjafjallajokul. Say what?! It's likely the whole thing is faked. I saw some of the "smoke plumes." It looked to me like a hack Photoshop job. Some of the smoke billows were clearly reused over and over to make the composite picture.

And if this stunt "volcano" wasn't enough, now these "scientists," who ought to try doing something honest for a living, are saying there could be a volcano 10 times worse coming along ... same country, Iceland. How convenient, to claim there's a volcano, then to situate it in a country that no one can go to to verify it.

Who knows what these "scientists" are up to? I know they're smoking something, and I don't think it came from a hole in the ground!

My Dog's Risky Sleeping Spot

Our dog likes to crawl under the bed and sleep at the corner by the head of the bed.

Of course she has no concept of a bed falling on you, as we've all seen happen.

This particular bed has never fallen. Its construction is such, I guess, that it can't fall. Although I don't know precisely how it's made just by memory.

Still, even with that great record, I know I wouldn't be under there unless there were some other safeguards in place, like a few well-placed concrete blocks or beams and trusses. (It's hard to find a good truss these days. It's not like when they used to advertise them right in the newspaper.)

I see the dog, and she's cognizant of all sorts of dangers. Part of the reason she goes under there, other than sleeping, is to escape from perceived dangers, like loud noises or me carrying a big piece of furniture. But she has a danger hanging right over her head, and she doesn't even realize it.

Text Message From The Dead

Did you happen to see the story about the text message from the dead?

A woman was killed and her body stuffed in a barrel, oh, and she was decapitated. The police suspected a guy but didn't have the goods on him, apparently, and they didn't know where the woman's body was.

So they came up with the idea of getting her cell number on a different phone, then texting the guy they suspected, as though the message was from her. "Just wait til I got better," the message went.

The guy went out to where the body was, I guess to double check that she was really dead. And the police got him.

Why if you cut someone's head off would you need to double check that she was dead? Perhaps the murderer wasn't in his right mind when he did it and wouldn't be in his right mind later either. That's the best explanation I can come up with.

My Move Coming Along

A week from now ... I will be going to bed in a different house.

This is a major life switch for me and it's going down in less than a week.

I went to the bank today and closed out some accounts and consolidated all my money in one spot. It's the same amount I had but for some reason it made it seem more finite in one lump sum. Like I need to squire this money along ... is that the right word? ... to make sure I don't go prematurely broke, or broke at all.

I'm too proud to ask others for money and too lazy to dig ditches, so I need to make sure the transition is such that I have money left over.

Women And A Ton Of Sh*t

I didn't realize there had been a big layoff at Hallmark cards and that so many sentimental verse writers were now freelancing it on Facebook.

But it's all for the best, if they can keep coming up with lovely sentiments like this, which I saw in someone's status recently:

Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her a house, she will give you a home. Give her groceries, she will give you a meal. Give her a smile & she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if you give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!! Ladies... re-post it on your wall if you agree!

Yes! Yes! Yes! That is so true, and it's put in such a lovely way. You'll get no argument from me. That's my mother, up to a certain extent. Let me read through it again ... Yes, that's her!

But wait, what's this ... "crap?" "shit?" Hmm, that must be the thorn in this rose. I believe we might need a few edits on this thing!

Tea Party Rally Costs Taxpayers $14,000

I love this. These people who are so against paying taxes and the taxpayers having to pay for things had a rally, that ended up costing the taxpayers $14,000.

Of course that doesn't include the roads they traveled on, the public transit that some of them likely used, any police that happened to be on duty in the area, and doubtless many other expenses.

If you don't want to cost the taxpayers money, just stay home and do nothing. But then of course we'd eventually have to pay to go in and carry out their stiff bodies. So you can't win.

Things cost money. Taking advantage of the government is not a good activity for anti-government activists.

OK, I Was An Idiot For Tearing Apart My Couch

There were very few people calling about the couch the other day. But little did I know the ad would later run in the wider-distributed free shopper.

So the shopper came out today and I've had close to 50 calls for the things I was giving away. A few mentioned the couch specifically.

How terrible that I tore it apart and threw it away! I could've saved myself all that work and it would've been gone by now anyway.

Live and learn. I really wanted to give it away, but no one was calling on the ad's first run.

My Couch At The Recycling Place

The couch I tore apart yesterday, I hauled out to the recycling place today.

What a mess it was, in a million pieces, give or take a few. But it fit in the car, with room to spare. Of course there'd've been no way it would've fit intact. But in a million pieces, it wasn't as big a problem.

I was fairly careful about taking the pieces out, since there was a lot of nails and staples and splinters. One thing poked me mildly, but that was it.

It's kind of fun taking stuff out there, and just flinging it on the pile of junk they have. It's a great way to get rid of all the crap of life.

Tearing A Couch Apart

Oh boy, this is a huge task, to tear a couch apart.

I had a big couch, fairly old, and it might've had some years on it when I got it over 20 years ago. In fact it did.

I advertised it in the paper for free. A few people were over to look at it. Two guys wanted everything I had, then they needed to borrow one of the guy's uncle's truck, and I never saw them again. Another couple came over and looked at it but it was too big for their space. Someone else came but they were looking something more like a love seat for their daughter's college room. And finally a lady who took some of my other things. She was going to get her brother to come and pick it up. It was complicated by the fact that he'd gone through a messy divorce back in November, had custody of their child, etc. The bottom line is he didn't show up, nor did his ex-wife, nor the kid.

So today, this was my last resort. Because I'm getting ready to move and couldn't have this gigantic old couch along for the ride, I needed to get rid of it somehow. So I dismantled it with an ax and a butcher knife.

While doing this I was thinking how terrible it must be for a serial murderer to have to completely dismantle a body, with the blood, tissue, intestines, etc. It's bad enough doing a couch!

A couch has more to it than you might think, with hundreds of staples and nails and things in there. You notice this sometimes when you're reaching down the cushions for change.

Speaking of change, I found 21 cents, but the other day when these people were I'd already gotten out 50 cents. I found other stuff from years ago, from the '90s, including a football schedule from the high school in 1992-93, some college information one of my kids must've gotten, a steak knife from ages ago, and a couple of sunflower seeds from when I was eating them, also years ago. Plus miscellaneous junk, little papers, dirt, crumbs, and a copy of the "Four Spiritual Laws." It was like archaeology.

Now the dismantled pieces are in my car and I get to take them to the recycling center tomorrow. So it's not completely out of my life yet.

Died Of Smoke Inhalation

Maybe not the best picture to go with for this article.

From the Des Moines Register, 5-18-1999.

Elvis For Everyone - 8 Track Tape

In packing for my big move I came across a couple of 8 track tape players. Three of them maybe. If there were three, I threw away two of them. And I kept the smallest one, a Radio Shack TR-8, I believe it's called.

I plugged it in tonight to see if it still worked and it did. It makes a lot of hissing, shushing noise, and a couple of the program LEDs don't light up. But the rest seems to work. (I didn't test out the recording features.)

I also threw away most of my 8 track tapes, a box full of them. But I kept the Elvis tapes that weren't literally moldy, as some of them were, and a few other tapes that are already packed.

This is the tape I tested the machine with tonight. "Elvis For Everyone!" by Elvis Presley, of course.

The first thing I notice is how simple the cover art is. This album had a pretty nice cover, with Elvis looking like he's standing at a stand that sells records, his own older albums. There's a cash register behind him and the Victor dog, Nipper. The definitely reduced matters for the tape!

The tape has "Stereo Effect Reprocessed from Monophonic."

The album goes fast, three songs per program. Some of the songs I don't hear much, including several: Your Cheatin' Heart, Summer Kisses, Winter Tears, Santa Lucia, Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers, etc. But listening to them, I liked them a lot, except for Santa Lucia, which is a drag.

Everything on the tape seemed OK till I got into program 4, then I was hearing some heavy bleeding from one of the other programs. That was distracting. I'm not sure what would suddenly cause that.

No, George, We Don't Miss You

There's a Facebook group (for idiots) called something like "Miss Me Yet? -- George W. Bush."

The idea seems to be that the Bush years were some kind of golden age and now we've entered the dark ages. Ha ha!

No, George, we don't miss you. Please don't call and don't write.

How can we miss you when we're still saddled with your recession everyday? How can we miss you when we're burdened with your two unfinished wars?

Plus, and most importantly, how can we miss you as long as we remember you? We'd never go back to you! You were the worst president ever.

The Funniest Line Heard At Church Today

A friend was talking about her 11-year-old niece, who was in church one Easter hearing about Jesus' death and resurrection. She asked, "Isn't he the same guy who died last year?"

My Day At The Recycling Facility

Because I'm moving that's meant a total cleaning job on the house, getting rid of all the things that we don't need (some of them) and certainly getting rid of things that are broken, not working, or are simply at this point garbage.

I didn't really know that just anyone could go out to the recycling facility and throw away tons of stuff with impunity. I guess I thought there were more restrictions on throwing away things, meaning that I had accumulated quite a few unusable or junky things.

I got a laptop computer now, which meant my office computer and my home computer were set aside. Then this week I took the hard drives out of those, making them totally worthless to me. Because I didn't want to move them and their big huge monitors and the whole works.

I had a couple of printers to get rid of, an old Macintosh computer from the '80s, record players, 8 track tape players, scanners, etc. Notice everything I listed (and some things I didn't list) are in the plural. That's true. I had a bunch of stuff. Then there was the tangle of various cords, plug-ins, power adapters, the whole bit. Keyboards, mice, amplifiers, and even my XM radio, including the home station and the car adapter stuff.

Another guy was helping me and we showed up with five or six loads, pickup truck loads, of all this junk. Once weighed in we went in the garage and just flung it on the floor of the place. It was kind of fun just flinging, throwing, shoving, kicking off the truck, and so forth.

My favorite trip was when we had all the electronics, which were sorted out. With that trip we took the metal objects too, an old patio table, a 70 pound typewriter, and I can't remember what all. We flung that into the metal receptacle, then went into the garage to fling the electronics. I threw down the computers, then I'm landing amplifiers on them, the scanners are smashed to bits when they hit the floor, it was a total travesty of brokenness and waste.

I thought back to when I got some of the stuff. One of the amplifiers I got in 1975! The Macintosh computer originally belonged to my late father. There it went, unceremoniously flung to the cement floor. My computers were there, on their side, with the amplifier crunching in the side as it landed on it. It was the wildest scene I've ever seen when it comes to garbage. I didn't know you could do that. It was amazing to see one of the scanners shatter into several pieces. Wow, those things aren't build to withstand a tumble!

I said it was fun, but only the unloading, and even then I would've rather been at home taking it easy. By the end of the day I was beat ... and could barely kick off the stuff. The very last item was a withered copy of a paperback book by S.J. Perelman, "Acres and Pains." Which I almost kept when it came right down to it, but it was old and falling apart. I like the writings by him that I've read. One of them one time I laughed over till I cried, so I know he can be very good.

What a day! A smashing good time!

Plus it was fun watching the garbage trucks rolling in, emptying garbage, pure and simple garbage. It'd be fun to spend some time out there with a video camera, just getting some great footage on this stuff.

Father Lawrence Murphy Describes Problems Of The Deaf

The following is an article on Father Lawrence Murphy of Wisconsin, the priest at the heart of a sexual abuse scandal. It is from 1965.

Problems of Deaf Are Described

The great "invisible handicap," deafness, was described by the Rev. Lawrence Murphy, director of St. John's School for the Deaf, Milwaukee, to Janesville Serrans at a luncheon meeting Friday noon.

"Handicaps such as blindness, crippling injuries and mental retardation are obvious for all to see. Outwardly we cannot tell if a person is deaf, and this is the great tragedy of the handicap," he said.

The students at the school in Milwaukee are those who are not hard of hearing or deafened by a gradual loss of hearing. They are those who, regardless of amplification, cannot hear. The students are those whose parents have usually traveled the country looking for help, and when all hope is lost arrive here.

"This type of nerve deafness cannot be helped by an operation — the only medicine education," he stated. "There are only 10 Catholic elementary schools and two high schools for the deaf in the United States." Father Murphy mentioned that St. John's is becoming the third high school as it will add the ninth grade in September, 1965, and will have a full high school program by 1969.

There are 140 children in the school, but the job of teaching them is equivalent to teaching some 1,000 normal children because of the tremendous individual attention needed. We ordinarily have 8 to 10 children in a classroom. It takes 12 years for a child to complete his 8th grade education.

"The problem is becoming more acute because more children are being spared by modern medicines and are growing up with two or three handicaps such as brain injuries, mental retardation and cerebral palsy. The greatest handicap, however, is deafness as it is not only a physical handicap, but an educational, spiritual, emotional and social one. A completely deaf child at three years of age is like an animal — nothing has a meaning, he has no vocabulary and no means of communication."

"It is the task of our school to break through this world of silence. The ability to read lips is a talent which the child is either born with or not. This ability cannot be taught.

"To find out what it really means to be deaf, watch a TV program with no volume and you will be befuddled after one half hour — or try to watch a news commentator and see if you can understand. A deaf person's life is a constant television program with no knowledge as to what's behind the action.

"It is extremely hard to teach these children religion as they are unable to attend church services and understand what's going on due to the difference in lighting or ability of the priest to communicate."

Father Murphy concluded that the deaf children do not feel sorry for themselves since they have no problems with outside influences disturbing their sleep or their peace of mind.

--Janesville Daily Gazette, Janesville, Wisconsin, Jan. 9, 1965, p. 5.

Ghost Hunters Always On

Every time I walk downstairs and past the room with the TV, I have to hear that blasted "Ghost Hunters" show. My wife is a big fan.

A while ago she was in the kitchen and I walked in like normal and it scared her. Thanks to the idiotic "Ghost Hunters."

C'mon, there can't be that many ghosts, infesting everything and every place. If there's so many ghosts, how come I've never seen or heard any? Believe it or not, I'm a spiritually sensitive person, intuitive, all that.

These guys walk into any building and something makes a noise, the building settling or something, and they're going, "I just want to be close to you, could you make that noise again?" Always looking for that cause and effect, responsiveness and compliance.

Bah! Focus on the living. They're much more interesting.

The Palin/Sarkozy Summit

We need a summit meeting of Sarah Palin and President Sarkozy of France, since he's in the country.

They famously spoke on the phone in the heat of the 2008 campaign, which unfortunately for her turned out to be a faux Sarkozy playing a trick on her.

Now that the real thing is there, maybe they could get together and he could tell her what a gorgeous woman she is, etc.

(I know, true beauty depends on inner beauty, and Sarah Palin in that department is putrid.)

I Have Way Too Many Possessions

Now that I'm moving, getting boxes packed, and it seems like an endless process, I've made a resolution, that I will thin down in the years to come as far as my possessions go. That is my vow.

As it is now, I'm thinning out. I probably have 40 boxes of books and other stuff that I'm going to be getting rid of. And I know I have more to go. The problem is there aren't enough thrift shops to get rid of it all, assuming they have an upper limit of what they will accept. I don't know. I feel embarrassed to show up with a ton of stuff.

Some of it I hope to sell. Not really for the sake of the money. But for the sake of someone else hauling it out of my house. That'd be worth money to me right there, and if I can get them to pay me a pittance for the stuff, so much the better. I'm not pricing it anywhere what it's "book value" would be, because I need to get rid of it.

And the stuff I'm packing and taking with me, like I said, I vow to get rid of much of it in the years to come. Bit by bit. I hope I can be frugal about buying more stuff. How much happier and lighter I would surely be if I didn't have the albatross of a stuffed moving van around my neck all the time. And I'm not happier for having a million different things.

You could really get injured moving boxes of books and records and things around. My back hurts, I'm tired, my hands are sore from grasping the handles on boxes, and I'm saying Never again. Some higher power will help my in the future to thin down ... or my name isn't D.B. Kundalini!

When it comes to possessions, I don't know who's possessing whom?

Nature Abhors A Vacuum

And I'm not too crazy about them either.

Crummy vacuum cleaners that break down and stay behind forever as a corpse. I have one in my basement, which I'm presently cleaning out.

I was down there for some hours today. I have managed to scratch the surface and actually go beyond that.

Among the junk is an old vacuum cleaner that quit working within the last couple of years. Now I have to make some kind of arrangement for disposing of it. It's not obvious how you're expected to get rid of stuff in our town.

I have a guy, though, who's going to help me on Friday.

Tea Party Activists On The Public Dole

Good grief, live up to your principles!

LOL, don't rail against the government and health care reform while taking federal disability checks!

Either you're for these benefits or against them. If you're against them, frankly it doesn't look good for you to take them.

The Past Catches Up With The Pope

The graphic is via the Huffington Post linked to an article at the NY Times. It concerns everyone's least favorite pope, Pope Benedict, not exactly a model of righteousness.

This is serious stuff. The pope, before he was pope, has a record of ignoring sexual abuse cases, of protecting and accommodating predators. It's disgusting, disgusting stuff. And there he still sits!

That headline's a real indictment. "NO ONE WOULD LISTEN. Deaf Boys Tried For Decades To Tell Of Priest's Sexual Abuse." If he had heard even a peep about a priest (or anyone) sexually abusing children, that should've been the end of that guy's career, assuming the facts checked out. The article mentions 200 boys, so that sounds like more than a peep.

There's a chilling photo at this link, showing an old picture (1960) of one of the main perps in this Wisconsin case. There he is with his hands piously together while boys are lined up below. You have to wonder what's going through everyone's mind in that photo. I bet it wasn't good.

The future pope, Joseph Ratzinger, had something to do with this guy's case ... and essentially nothing happened. The guy shouldn't be pope. That much is clear.

Did John Edwards Burn Down A Courthouse?

Here's one I wasn't expecting, which in my mind raises more questions than can be answered presently. But we can make some very good educated guesses!

The short story is that a courthouse in North Carolina, the very courthouse where they were keeping the John Edwards sex tape, was destroyed by fire. Officials aren't saying for sure what might have happened, but they're checking John Edwards for signs of smoke odor. And match DNA on his fingers. If they make a match they'll find out where the match was. In his hot little hand!

The speculation here -- my own -- is that something terrible happened. My own suspicion, and I have no more facts at my disposal, is that Edwards probably had something to do with it. That there's something on that sex tape, if nothing more than the sex act itself, that he doesn't want us to see. But is he willing to burn down an entire courthouse? My guess is an unqualified yes.

One, simply to burn the office where the tape was kept would be too obvious. As it is, though, the drastic measures he must have taken -- torching the whole place -- is also very obvious. He might be thinking he'll get off on account of reverse psychology, that since it's so obvious he did it we won't believe it to be true. There is something to that. Because even though I'm certain he did it, I still have to wonder, Did he really?

Did he really? That's the question. Would it be worth it to him to burn down a courthouse to destroy one sex tape? Because there's probably nothing on the sex tape that we haven't all seen a million times. Body parts are interchangeable. Just because they're his in this instance doesn't make them unique. The whole thing is ho-hum. Really, sex is the same as shaking hands, you're just using different organs to get the job done. Whether it's John Edwards or Hugh Hefner, what's the big deal?

The fact is, John Edwards better pray that that courthouse had insurance, or he's going to be out a hefty fine. Plus, no one likes a firebug.

UPDATE: Thankfully the tape survived, despite Edwards' best efforts. But even if it hadn't, we can all guess what it showed. The actual tape can't be any worse than our imagination, in which we can picture the scene in its entirety, from its tentative beginning to the satisfied collapse at the end.

President Obama At The Bookstore

Wow, this is cool. The president at a bookstore in Iowa City. I love to see this. It's fun to watch it.

How interesting that he'd buy books by Mitt Romney and Karl Rove. I personally would not do that but he's in a position where that might come in handy down the road.

Another Crazy Senate Rule

Now the Republicans are obstructing the work of the Senate through exercising a little known rule that no committee can meet after 2:00 p.m. without a specific daily vote to dispense with the rule.

Leading me to cry once again, "Arrrrgggggghhhhh!"

How many more poison pills are there hidden in the Senate's rule book to keep things from happening there? The Senate has to be the most ridiculous institution I've ever heard of.

And why weren't the Democrats gumming up the works when the Republicans were in charge? It seemed to be hitting on all cylinders in those days.

When Will The Republicans "Get It"?

Is this really tough stuff to get? The idea that statesmanship is still possible in this country, and desirable.

There's no reason to be such enemies that we have to have death threats, cut gas lines, children being targeted, and all the other outrageous things that the Tea Party activists, mostly aligned with the Republicans, have been doing.

John Boehner just the other day suggested that a particular Democratic congressman wouldn't be able to go back to his district or he'd be "a dead man." That kind of language is the same as inciting violence. And at Boehner's level of power and responsibility, you'd think he'd know better.

We need to get back the concept of "the loyal opposition," where we accept that we're all Americans with different opinions in some cases, but that shouldn't mean we're trying to kill one another. Good grief, have the Republicans so lost their moral compass that they can't get this simple, basic truth?

Remember, they used to be called the party of law and order! Those were the days!

If this other thing, the way of violence and hatred, is what they've decided to carve out for themselves, then they need to be dealt with through the law and prosecuted. Make an example of a few of them, and perhaps the others will finally get the message.

The Differences Between Democrats And Republicans

In the whole health care reform debate and the way it's worked out, we've clearly seen the differences between Democrats and Republicans.

Democrats are the ones who want decent, responsible social progress and well-being. Republicans are the ones who are content to fatten the fat cats and deny Americans the things of basic well-being.

It is a disgusting picture, but thankfully they've made it all so obvious to us. Anyone looking can see those who are looking forward, trying to make the country better, trying to include more people in America's blessings. Then there's the Republicans, whose mantra of "No" tells their side of the story.

It was a proud moment to see the President today and all the others, bringing this progress to our country, to so many who've been kicked down so many times. It would've been better, in my opinion, if some of the Republicans would've had the decency to show up and join in the celebration. But they made their bed and have chosen to lie in it.

One side is responsible, the Democrats. The other side refuses to rise above the level of social vandalism. One side holds out a promise to all people. The other has nothing but catcalls, ethnic slurs, idiotic signs, and spitting on their fellow Americans.

I don't believe America supports the Republicans' despicable vision of the way things should be. We want progress and decency instead.

Obama To Sign HCR Bill Tuesday Morning

That dirty fascist. How totalitarian of him. Baby killer.

LOL.

It's A Happy Day

I'm happy that the House of Representatives did the right thing and passed health care reform. Now they have some tinkering to do with it in the Senate, but even if they don't get that right, we still got something definite.

Big marks for President Barack Obama, who succeeded in getting this accomplished for the American people! It was great to hear the Democrats chanting "Yes We Can," reminding us that we can make good progress in this country.

It's just a pity that the Republicans time and time again have to put themselves on the wrong side of history and the wrong side of right. Fortunately, with the removal of pre-existing conditions clauses, maybe we'll at long last find a cure for the missing chromosome. Some of the Republican hayseeds in Congress -- the ones with the more snake-like look -- look like they might be able to take advantage of this chromosome therapy, if indeed that's what the problem is.

I missed Boehner's speech -- drat. I went upstairs to do something, can't remember what. The announcer was saying he might go on to the middle of the night, which I wasn't hoping for. So I wasn't gone very long and by the time I got back, he was done.

I saw a snippet of his insane remarks on the internet today. It's really giving me pause, the whole idea that our elected officials can be such baldfaced liars, and get away with it. He was shouting at the top of his lungs, "No you can't!!!!!!" or some such idiocy. The man has to be a deeply unhappy person. Or maybe a better word would be a Republican favorite, "flawed." He's a deeply flawed person. Where do we get these nitwits?

Anyway, it's a very very happy day. One, I can't stand the Republicans. Even when they win they're still losers. How much better when they simply lose. Two, it's good to have progress in this country. The health care system we've all suffered under has been a global disgrace. To think a country this great would have a health care system this despicable, it boggles the mind.

Big kudos to our great president, Barack Obama, and the House leadership. And we hope we can have good things to say about our Senate leadership very very soon. Of course we'll never like some of them, like the execrable senator from Nebraska, Ben Nelson, and a few others.