Tuesday, September 02, 2008

So How's The Convention Going?

I'm usually watching the whole thing, gavel to gavel, as much as I can. But I haven't seen a minute of it yet. The internet is on fire with all the Palin/McCain scandals, and who can take their eyes off that?!

Assuming it's on -- which I don't know -- I suppose they have a lot of inspiring things going on, you know, as to why this halfwit John McCain should be president. Probably such things as his great judgment and what a maverick he is. Oops, scratch that. The guy couldn't rub two coherent thoughts together if they were Super Glued to his gloves. So much for judgment. And as for being a maverick, you don't pick Sarah Palin as your running mate if you're not afraid of someone. Like James Dobson. Must not color outside the lines in the Ayatollah's coloring book!

I've got to think that the hits at Daily Kos, Talking Points Memo, and Huffington Post are through the roof. They're busy celebrating the McCain debacle. And thanks to McCain's great vetting process -- which I heard was to pray and flip a coin -- the hits at National Enquirer and TMZ are probably blazing hot too! About the only guy in the Republican party who's happy has to be Larry Craig, since everyone's forgotten about his memorial stall at the airport. He's sitting on the toilet somewhere, saying, "That was a close call."

What might they be doing at the convention? Just guessing, probably some very stuffy business. Maybe a faux patriotic demonstration. Up on the stage, some blowhards maybe carrying on as though the Republican party had any foundation left. Slogans and flags are cheap, of course. But you better use those 50-star flags now while they're any good, since Palin wants Alaska to secede from the Union. Then we'll be down to 49. It'll be good for the flag industry. Maybe that's the kind of jobs the Republicans want to create in America -- or maybe they'll outsource the work to Alaska.

It's been a great week! The Democratic convention, on the other hand was boring, being a model of sanity and stability. Heckuva job, Johnny!

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