Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Yes! We Now Know Sarah Palin Can Read!

I watched enough of her speech to convince me of this much, when it comes to words on a teleprompter, Sarah knows how to read.

Now we need to take it one step farther. Will she be able to wing it when it's not written out for her? I watched it up till midway through the "Our opponent is the scum of the earth" section, then decided I'd seen enough. What will she come up with when the audience is not a lot of cheering dittoheads?

By the way, speaking of the audience, I didn't see the lady with the purple Band-Aid. But I believe I did see two black guys, so there was some diversity in the hall. Just to carry on a bit about the audience, I watched most of Rudy's speech with the sound turned down. It looked like he was delighting the audience to no end. Which when it comes to this crowd can only mean mockery. They're not actually coming up with promises and plans to do anything positive for the economy or America's place in the world. But they do know how to cut a mean insult.

I was struck by the big New York video in the back when Rudy was speaking. I was wondering if the Republicans were leaving America better off than when they took over in 2001. And then I noticed two big buildings missing from the picture. But, you know, everyone's entitled to a few "oopsies" when it comes to tending their pet goat's needs first. Audience chant, everyone: "Pet Goat First! Pet Goat First! Pet Goat First!" It's not really the Republicans' fault that they were asleep at the switch on 9/11. Afterall, Bill Clinton was seriously keeping track of the terrorists. And since everything he did was wrong, the Republicans had no choice but to look the other way. So it's Clinton's fault. Anyway, Rudy got to be a big hero for simply showing up and doing the job they paid him to do. So it all worked out.

Are Republicans a chromosome-deprived people? I mean that. Check the vents at the funny farm, because I think I saw a few walk-offs.

Anyway, getting back to Gov. Palin? Doesn't she have a weird habit of scrinching her face up when she's making a point? It reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld, the Yada Yada Yada girl, who scrinches her face sort of like that when she's talking about shoplifting. It's kind of cute. Her little daughter was cute, putting spit on her hand and smoothing out Trig's hair. I saw that and thought, There goes a few votes. It was genuinely cute.

The whole thing, though, politically, wasn't so great. Naturally they mischaracterized Obama to no end. She repeated her lie about the bridge to nowhere, the "No thanks" line. Great story, if only it were true! D'oh!

And no one addressed the biggest elephant in the room, the failure of George W. Bush. In fact, she didn't mention President Bush, the president of their party, who could do no wrong for all those years. That's weird. If we put up with eight years of failure from the Republicans -- answer me this -- why should we trust them for another four? That's the stumbling block of stumbling blocks. These people are incompetent and corrupt. They need to be sent packing, back to Crawford, back to Alaska, back to Arizona. And with that, over and out.

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